Fifty Shades – The Lost Baby
by desktop dragon
Summary: This story is set a few years down the line, Christian and Ana are still happily married with 3 children, Teddy now 6, Phoebe, 4 and Isobel 2, Ana has now discovered she is pregnant again with her fourth child. Events take a turn which she does not expect and then a face from the past makes a reappearance. This is the first story in a set of three.
1. Chapter 1

CHAPTER ONE

"Well Mrs Grey it seems congratulations are in order again!" Dr Green is peering at the now familiar blue coloured stick and smiles warmly at me. I am thrilled of course but also concerned this is baby number four, my mind immediately goes back to the day when I discovered I was pregnant with our son Teddy and Christian's monumental over reaction, his fear and his lack of belief that he could possibly be any sort of father. My mind then flits forward to the complete about turn when I was pregnant with Phoebe and Christian and I were talking and he said "let's have lots of children".

Since then I had given Christian another daughter Isobel Grace who is now 2 years old, I have roughly been giving birth every two years since Teddy, who is now six years old. I love all my children dearly and would not be without any of them but I am now seriously thinking this is going to be the last, I have had enough of being pregnant. I smile to myself, but I can't help thinking a small thought of oh no not again, I dismiss my negative thoughts immediately, this is good news, happy news, Christian is going to be thrilled. I take the now familiar leaflets and vitamins, and an appointment for an ultra sound scan and leave Dr Greens office.

I reach the car and Sawyer looks up and smiles warmly at me I return his smile as I clamber into the back of the car and pull out my Blackberry and call Christian, he answers on the first ring.

"Hi" he says, "Well?" he adds with the tone which said to me tell me now.

"Hi" I reply, "I am pregnant" I add and I sense his beaming smile down the phone.

"Oh baby" he says with his voice cracking with emotion. "Where are you now, and have you eaten?" he adds.

I roll my eyes and sigh "I'm in the car, Sawyer is driving me back to work, I have a meeting with Boyce about his latest novel and we are having a working lunch OK?" I wait for Christian's response.

"OK" he says seemingly pacified by my response, "I know when you are rolling your eyes at me, and take it easy baby OK and make sure you get enough to eat at your working lunch" he adds in his no-nonsense tone, there is a pause before he says "I have to go now baby see you later".

"Love you" I say to him and hear his sharp intake of breath.

"I love you too baby...with all my heart" he says in that voice which makes me melt inside.

I am feeling exhausted, I can barely keep my eyes open as Sawyer drives me home, I glance at the bouquet of beautiful white roses which is beside me in the car, they had arrived at the office mid afternoon and I knew straight away who they were from. I read the card again.

_Ana_  
_Once again you have made me the happiest man alive,_  
_You and our children are my life_  
_Thank you, C xxx_

I smile and as we turn into our driveway my mind wanders again. As I get out of the car Taylor pulls up in the other SUV and Christian leaps out grabs me in his arms and holds me close to him, his nose in my hair, I run my hands through his hair and as he lifts his head up and smiles at me I plant a soft kiss on his lips. We are interrupted by squeals and shouts as Teddy and Phoebe charge towards us and Isobel stands at the front door watching as Christian lifts Phoebe up in his arms and ruffles Teddy's hair. As we get closer she lifts her arms up almost beside herself with excitement and shouts "daddy up!". Christian grins down at her and after placing Phoebe carefully back on her feet swings his youngest daughter up in the air and hugs her tightly. She giggles and flings her arms around his neck. I watch smiling to myself, Christian is a wonderful father and all our children adore him.

"Hi Gail" I say as we walk into our huge kitchen.

"Hello Mrs Grey" she replies and looks hard at me, I smile and give her a little nod, she returns my smile "Oh lovely, congratulations to you both" she adds with total sincerity.

Christian grins and looks like the cat who got the cream "thanks Gail" he says.

After a delicious Chicken Stew I am really having difficulty staying awake, I don't remember ever being this tired with my other pregnancies, I was tired but tonight I feel totally drained. Christian looks hard at me the anxiety clear in his eyes.

"What's wrong Ana?" he asks

"Nothing, I'm just tired" I reply. I suddenly remember my scan appointment, it is 2 days from now "Oh by the way I have a date for my first scan the day after tomorrow at 10am, do you want to come with me?" I ask knowing the answer before I even ask the question.

"Of course I do" Christian replies reaching for his Blackberry, he pushes a speed dial button and waits, "Andrea, clear my schedule on Thursday morning until lunchtime...yes...that can wait...no...that can wait too, that's fine, thank you Andrea, goodnight" he tosses his blackberry on to the table and pulls me into his arms.

After the children are all in bed, I go to the library and try to read through some manuscripts, but all the words are running into one another and in the end I give it up, I leave and go to look for Christian and find him in his office, he turns and smiles at me as I stand in the doorway.

"I'm going to bed, I feel so tired" I say, Christian frowns at me but nods, he comes towards me and folds me in his arms and places his hand on my stomach, and plants a small kiss on my nose.

"Okay" he says, "you do look very tired, and you are very pale do you feel ok?" he adds searching my face.

"Yes I'm fine, but I am feeling a bit sick too" I reply and touch his cheek with my fingers he leans into my touch and kisses me again.

"Go on, go to bed, and sleep" he says "Get your rest" he adds and releases me, still looking at me with concern in his eyes.

"Are you coming?" I ask

"Not yet baby" he replies, "I have something I need to finish first, and as much as I would like to come to bed with you, you are tired and need to sleep"

My sub conscious nods in agreement, and I turn and leave his study and make my way to bed, with a wave of nausea sweeping over me.

The next morning, I lie in bed feeling like I have been run over by a bus, I have been up most of the night throwing up, I am tired and I just want to stay in bed, I have never had morning sickness this bad before, Christian is by my side, the tension is radiating off him in waves, he holds my hand running his thumb over my knuckles.

"You are not going to work today Mrs Grey" he states firmly, I sigh and heave myself to a sitting position.

"Christian I am pregnant, alright I haven't had morning sickness this bad before but it will pass and I have too much to do at work to be taking time off, I won't be in tomorrow morning I have to go today". I look up into his worried face. He sighs and shakes his head.

"If you feel at all unwell you come home instantly - Sawyer will stay with you, and I'm not having any argument about it" he says glaring me daring me to argue with him. I touch his face and smile.

"Alright" I concede and he visibly relaxes.

I try and force some breakfast down me, but as we travel to work I begin to wish I hadn't, my stomach is churning and I really want to throw up, I arrive and head straight for the restroom where I deposit my breakfast into the toilet. I steady myself against the wall of the cubicle and take a deep breath, I still feel really sick and I am beginning to wish I had stayed at home. I try and pull myself together, my sub conscious is glaring at me obviously thinking I am being a wimp, I ignore her and steadily make my way to my office.

By 11am I am expecting to feel better but I really don't I just feel nauseous all the time and I am afraid to eat anything in case I bring it back. I struggle on until after lunchtime but after yet another rush to the restroom after eating my lunch I decide to throw in the towel. I make my way to reception, where Sawyer leaps to his feet he looks concerned, do I really look that bad?

"I want to go home" I mutter, Sawyer smiles kindly at me,

"Sure" he replies, "Just wait here while I..." he doesn't finish his sentence, everything is spinning I am feeling light headed and really sick Sawyer grabs me as my legs give way and sits me down, I am vaguely aware of whats going on, I hear Sawyer on his phone.

"T, Mrs Grey is really ill, I am taking her straight to the hospital...yes...I'll meet you there". "Mrs Grey, can you hear me I am going to take you to the hospital" I nod not caring what happens I just feel too ill.


	2. Chapter 2

**I would just like to thank everyone for their positive responses to my story. It is an idea I have had in my head for a while and thought what the hell, but never expected it to be as well received as it has been - thank you. (I do not own Fifty Shades of Grey)**

CHAPTER TWO

The journey to the hospital doesn't take long, I am curled up in the back of the SUV talking to Christian on my Blackberry. It seemed like Sawyer had barely hung up when my Blackberry buzzed. It was Christian of course, and he was beside himself, he assured me that he had dropped everything and was on his way and would meet us at the hospital, I thought that would be all but here I was still talking to him, on route, but its helping me too its taking my mind off the nausea threatening to consume me.

The car pulls up at the hospital and before it's even stopped, the door is opening and Christian is leaning inside towards me. I give him a weak smile,

"Hi" I murmur, before pushing him out of the way and promptly throwing up outside the car. Christian stares at me, totally speechless.

I grab Christians hand as I make to get out of the car, and immediately he lifts me into his arms, and strides towards the doors, I feel so weak and ill I don't protest and lean my head into his neck.

"I've got you" he says to me his voice thick with worry as he holds me close.

Dr Green is waiting for us and her mouth drops open when she sees me, I am whisked straight to a private room and given a bowl, I smile weakly in thanks, I just want to go to sleep.

After what seems like hours of various tests, and an unbelievable amount of vomiting we know why I am feeling and being so ill. Twins! We sit and stare at the little ultrasound picture on the screen two separate little figures, I am further along than I realised, Dr Green estimates about 14 weeks, I am trying get my head around this, twins. But it accounts for the fact why my clothes are feeling a little tight already. I glance at Christian who is totally dumbfounded his eyes fixed on the two little blurry figures on the screen.

"This why you have been so ill Mrs Grey, extreme morning sickness is very common with twins, but I assure you it will pass with time, but for now we are going to keep you in over night under observation, you are severely dehydrated, and we need to sort that out".

Two days later the sickness is finally under control and I am well enough to go home, and I cannot wait to see my children again, Christian has been brilliant, he has split his time with me and with our children making sure he was there to put them to bed and read them their bed time stories as he always does. Christian is quiet as we make our way home from the hospital.

"Christian what's worrying you?" I ask squeezing his hand, he is lost in thought somewhere and I want him to tell me what's bothering him.

"Welch phoned me last night..." he pauses and looks at me hesitating

"and.." I reply urging him to tell me what has happened

"Hyde has been released from prison, early parole for good behaviour" his tone is bitter and sarcastic, and I shiver as memories of that horrible day 7 years ago when I shot Jack. Christian folds me into his arms, and kisses my head

"Don't worry baby, that fucker will come nowhere near us, Welch is having him watched and he has a restraining order he can't come anywhere near any of us, but security will be stepped up now he is back on the streets, but if he puts one foot out of place he will be sorry"  
We arrive home and we are immediately welcomed by Phoebe and Isobel, who both hug me tightly.

"Mommy, back!" Isobel squeals in delight jumping up and down, I pick her up and hug her tightly, before she spots Christian and immediately holds her arms out to him. I pass her over and crouch to give Phoebe a hug.

"Why did you go?" she asks me staring up at me with Grey eyes just like her fathers.

"I was feeling poorly and had to see a doctor" I explain as simply as I can "When Ted comes home from school daddy and I have something to tell you all". Phoebe is satisfied with that answer and runs to Christian and flings her arms around his leg.  
Just at that moment the door burst open and Ted comes running in closely followed by Ryan who has collected him from school. He rushes to me, smiling widely.

"Hello baby boy" I say as he rushes into my arms.

"Hello mommy – do you feel better now?" he asks me, I am surprised at his question and look at Christian before smiling back at him.

"Yes darling, I am thank you" I reply

Satisfied by the fact both parents are back at home and everything is back to normal our children disappear out of the room leaving Christian and I alone.

"How did Ted know?" I ask Christian

"He overheard me talking to mom last night when I came home to put them to bed" he explained. "Grace has been coming and spending time with them in the evening while I was at the hospital to give Gail a break".

Just at that moment Gail walks in and I turn to her and embrace her warmly she seems surprised by my actions.

"Thank you for taking care of the children" I say.

"It's my pleasure Mrs Grey, you know I love to do it, how are you feeling now?" she looks at me assessing me.

I smile "Much better thank you".

Just as I am thinking things can return to normal I see Ryan hovering around in the doorway looking serious.

"Erm, welcome home Mrs Grey" he says "Could I have a word please Mr Grey, sir" he adds

Christian frowns and leads Ryan into his study, moments later I hear him bellowing down the phone to Welch.

"I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU WERE HAVING THAT FUCKER WATCHED!" I freeze and glance at Gail who discreetly leaves the room.

"HOW THE HELL DID HE MANAGE TO GET TO MY SONS SCHOOL!?...IF YOU LET ANYTHING LIKE THIS HAPPEN AGAIN YOU ARE FIRED DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! ..."

I go cold, and without waiting to be asked walk into Christians office, he is standing with his back to me running his hand through his hair, he spins on the spot and glares at me, his face softens as soon as he sees me and in a more measured tone says "Yes...24/7 from today" he hangs up.

"What's happened?" I ask although I think I know the answer.

"When Ryan picked Ted up from school, Hyde was hanging around the gate watching, and approached Ted, but thankfully Ryan got to him first"

I am shocked and terrified, Jack still wants revenge not only for the fact Christian was adopted and he wasn't but for what I did too when I shot him. I run to Christian and put my arms around him. He buries his nose in my hair and gently kisses my head.

"Don't worry baby" he says "I won't let that fucker hurt any of you"


	3. Chapter 3

**I would just like to thank everyone once again for their positive responses to my story. It is very gratifying to receive such positive feedback. Thank you.** **(I do not own Fifty Shades of Grey)**

CHAPTER THREE

We are sitting in our lounge, with our children, who are all in their pyjamas ready for bed, Christian is now calm after his earlier outburst and I am just feeling nauseous again after yet another bout of vomiting.

Ted and Phoebe are sitting quietly looking expectantly at Christian while Isobel is playing happily on his lap.

"We have some news for you, mommy is going to have another baby, but this time she is going to have twins!"

Ted looks less than enthusiastic about the news, Phoebe looks excited but also a little confused.

"Mommy, what's twins?" she asks

"Two babies at once" said Ted "There are twins in my class they look exactly the same".

I smile at Ted, "That's right Ted, sometimes though they can look different, but sometimes twins can be the same – its called identical".

Ted smiles weakly and climbs off the sofa, "Daddy will you read me a story please, I'm going to bed?"

"Sure" Christian replies, with a worried look on his face, and he follows his son out of the room.

When he returns he is smiling. "Poor Ted" he says "He doesn't want another sister he wants you to have a boy so he will have a brother, but he's worried that if its twin boys they will only play with each other – as apparently that is what the twins in his class are like"

I giggle, "Oh bless him" I reply, and then I sigh, and broach a subject I have been wondering about for a few days now.

"Christian... after this time I really don't want any more children, I ... what I mean is... erm..." I stop and gaze up at him, and he smiles.

"Don't worry baby, I think we have more than done our fair share of keeping the human race going, I'll take care of it" He kisses me and as we kiss the deep stirrings of desire awake inside me only to be quelled my another wave of nausea, I push Christian away and run to the bathroom, he follows me and holds my hair while I vomit again.

=====

Things continue like this for a few weeks, security is tight Ryan is continually assigned to Ted, while Prescott is stationed at home with Gail and the girls. I am working from home for the time being so Sawyer is also a fixture around the house, but there has been no sightings of Jack, it makes me feel a little uneasy knowing he is out there somewhere, but it seems quiet at the moment and for that I am thankful, also finally I am beginning to feel better and the constant sickness has started to subside.

Gail is in the kitchen preparing some of her delicious bolognese sauce and for the first time in ages I feel my mouth water when I smell it, I sit at the breakfast counter and watch her.

"Gail that smells delicious, i don't suppose I could have some now can I - with some bread?"

Gail beams at me, "Of course Mrs Grey I will dish some up for you, I must say you have been looking much better these last few days"

"I am thank you, I think I have finally turned the corner" I run my hand across my swelling stomach "I can't believe how big I am getting already, I know there are two in there but two what...baby elephants!?"

We laugh and I tuck into the bowl of bolognese in front of me.

I am sitting in my office at work, Christian has called twice and emailed me checking up on me and checking all is well, and all is well, I have been eating well and the morning (or should I say all day) sickness now seems to have passed. Things seem blissfully normal and have been how for the last few weeks.

I go down to the kitchen and make myself a cup of tea humming quietly to myself, suddenly pain radiates around my stomach and I drop my cup and it smashes on the floor – I know this pain, but its too soon, far too soon, I am only 24 weeks, I sit down taking deep breaths as Hannah comes running in, closely followed by Sawyer.

"Ana are you ok?" she asks looking at me.

I glance up and in between the sharp pains I look pleadingly at Sawyer and murmur one word -"Christian". His response is immediate, and he dials Christian's number.

"Sir, I think you need to come now, its Mrs Grey, I think she has gone into labour...yes sir..." he hands me the phone "Mrs Grey" he says kindly, I take the phone from him

"Thank you Luke" I say, "Christian" I add as another pain grips me.

"I am on my way baby I will be with you in about 5 minutes" I could tell from his voice he was running, I relax and as I do I feel suddenly wet".

"I think you had better hurry, I think my waters have just broken" I say

"Shit! I am getting in the car now"

I sit with my eyes shut counting the contractions and breathing the door bursts open and Christian is there he is on his knees beside me, as he helps me to my feet he blanches as does Hannah and Sawyer, I look round, it isn't water on the chair its blood. Christian carefully lifts me into his arms and before I know it we are on our way to the hospital.

I am sitting in the hospital bed feeling a mixture of emotions, Christian is at my side clutching my hand, tears start to pour down my cheeks, I have miscarried one of my babies – a little boy the other also a boy is hanging in there it, it seems the placenta had come detached and that was it game over. Fortunately they each had their own placenta and my other baby boy is safe for now. I am on strict bed rest and I absentmindedly run my hand over my stomach.

I glance at Christian "I'm sorry" I whisper

He looks at me "Hey don't be silly it wasn't your fault" he says, he is gutted I can tell but he is trying to be strong for me.

The door opens and Grace comes in, she puts her hand on Christians shoulder and then leans over and gently hugs me.

"Oh Ana I am so sorry" she says.

Her words are my undoing and I sob uncontrollably. My mind goes back to earlier where I held my tiny baby son.

"We said good bye to him and we are going to give him a proper burial" I stammer between sobs. Grace nods, gently stroking my hair.

"I like the name Matthew" I say suddenly, Grace smiles and Christian nods, he is quiet – too quiet, I glance at him and see tears in his eyes, I sit up and he looks at me and then we are holding each other both of us in floods of tears, as Grace slips quietly from the room.


	4. Chapter 4

**I would just like to thank everyone once again for taking the time read and comment about my story, I said to myself that I wasn't going to reveal anything about what was going to happen next, leaving it to the story to unfold, but I just want to assure everyone that Ana does NOT miscarry her other twin. (I do not own Fifty Shades of Grey)**

CHAPTER FOUR

A month later and I still feel numb, I am also feeling guilty for having negative thoughts about my precious babies when I first became pregnant, I am feeling guilty about my negative thoughts when i discovered it was twins and when i told Christian I wanted no more children, I am being punished for my negativity, my sub conscious is doing her best to make me feel bad, but there seems to be a rational voice in there telling me I'm being silly and it was natures way. The trouble is I am not really listening to it. I have become an island going through the motions of life but not really being a part of it.

Christian is doing his best to take care of me, but I know he is at a loss, he feels as bad as I do, we are both taking it one day at a time, at least we still have one baby. We are focusing on that, under normal circumstances I would be going stir crazy and fighting against the strict induced rest programme I have been given, but I obey it, I couldn't bear to go through anything like that again, I have to keep my surviving baby safe until its time for him to be born.

I am sitting on the sofa going through a pile of paperwork I have been sent, when Ted comes in from school, he comes over and gives me a hug.

"Hello baby boy!" I say folding him into my arms.

Ted looks at me, with those blue eyes so like mine, he looks troubled.

"What's wrong darling?" I ask him, he climbs up onto the sofa next to me and leans against me.

"Mommy is it my fault Matthew died?" he asks me my heart twists oh my poor little man, I have been so wrapped up in my own grief I have failed to see that my son has been struggling too.

"Oh Ted, sweetheart, don't ever think that, why would you, it was just an accident, Matthew wasn't meant to be born, it was just how things happen sometimes" .

I am mortified my little boy feels guilty about this. Ted snuggles closer.

"Its just... you know that night when daddy told us you were having another baby and it was twins, well I told him I didn't want another sister, I mean I love Pheebs and Izzy but I can't really play with them like I do with my friends at school...because...well because they are girls and I was worried because the twins in my class they don't play with anyone else, so I didn't want you to have twins...and ...and now you're not" he stops, my heart feels like its being torn in two, oh my precious boy so traumatised and I have been too wrapped up in myself to notice. I pull him close and reassure him the best I can that it had nothing to do with what he thought and said.

I pull him closer and gently stroke his hair, I lift his chin so he is looking me straight in the eye and take a deep breath, how the hell do I explain this to a six year old in the end I think honesty is best, put in a way he can hopefully understand.

"Listen Ted I know you are very young and probably don't understand what's going on but you are a very clever boy so I am going to explain it to you the best I can, You are NOT to blame, mommy's tummy couldn't cope with having two babies in there at the same time, and something went wrong, that's all, its nobody's fault ok?!"

Ted looks me in the eye, relaxes and smiles, and with that reassurance he is satisfied, and he jumps down and runs to his room. I am amazed how resilient kids are. Now I have the added guilt that I let my son suffer for so long perhaps I should start taking my own advice. I think about what I have just told him, it's nobody's fault, why can't I believe that as easily as Ted has done?

I look up pulled from my thoughts and Christian is standing quietly in the doorway, he smiles at me.

"I came home early, I was listening to what you said to Ted, I didn't come in until he had gone, as I didn't want to disturb the moment, I didn't realise he felt so bad" he says with a frown. In a few short strides he is beside me on the sofa and pulls me into his arms, he puts his hand on my stomach and gently caresses my bump.

"I think we should start taking that advice you gave to Ted, it was nobody's fault" he presses his forehead against mine and plants a sweet kiss on my nose.

Tears well in my eyes and for the first time since we lost Matthew I fight it, and at that moment I start to feel a tiny bit better, it will take a long time until I accept that it wasn't something I did, but at least now I am starting the healing process, I have to, I have 3 children who need me and one who I have to keep safe until its time for him to be born. I have to stop wallowing in my own self pity.

I take a big sniff and smile at Christian; I have an idea which I think will do us all the world of good.

"Christian, it's the weekend now, can we go somewhere, get a change of scenery just the 6 of us" I touch my stomach.

"Where do you want to go baby?" Christian asks

"I thought we could perhaps spend the weekend in Aspen, you could take Ted fishing and we could just ...you know..."

"That my darling is a fantastic idea" Christian leaps to his feet and fishes his Blackberry from his pocket, dials a number and waits.

"Stephan, I need you and Beighley fly us to Aspen tomorrow, I know its short notice...thank you...10am from Sea Tac...yes, thanks again" he looks at me and smiles "Sorted!" I stand and fling my arms around him and kiss him soundly, the kiss deepens but he pushes me away.

"No Ana I can't I am so desperate to make love to you but you know we can't...not yet" he places his hand on my stomach again. I am 34 weeks pregnant now not much longer to wait, I am amazed and marvel how much self control Christian has over his body, but I have noticed he has been working out twice as much as he did before I had my miscarriage. It must be torture for him. I haven't even given our sex life any thought these past months I just haven't want to know and Christian has just accepted that.

He looks at me, and I know he is going to say something "I have made an appointment with Dr Harrison, he was recommended by Dr Green" he says watching for my reaction, I am afraid.

"Why Christian what's wrong?" I am panicking now.

"I am going to have a vasectomy, I can't risk putting you through this again" he pulls me close again, "You and the children are my life Ana, and this miscarriage has nearly destroyed you, it has affected Ted, I won't let it happen again". Tears are in his eyes, and I can see that he blames himself as much I blame myself, but in a different way.

"Christian have you talked to Flynn about any of this?"

He nods at me; I had refused to talk to Dr Flynn despite Christians pleading. I needed to work things out in my own head. I touch my beloved husbands face.

"Thank you" I whisper "But you have nothing to feel guilty about, its not your fault" I pause and smile at the irony of what I am about to say "It just happened, its nobody's fault".

Christian gives me his beautiful shy smile, "We will get past this he says, we will never forget Matthew, nor will we want to but we will...eventually"

I try to lighten the mood between us, and I know just the thing, I call the children.

"Phoebe, Teddy come here a moment, just as I shout the door swings open and Isobel comes charging into the room.

"DADDY" she shrieks as soon as she lays eyes on Christian, I move to avoid being trampled in the stampede and laugh as she flings herself at

Christian, she is truly a daddy's girl, all our children adore Christian but there seems to be something special between Christian and Phoebe she worships him.

"Hello my darling girl" Christian lifts Isobel into his arms and she flings her small arms round his neck and kisses him soundly on the cheek. Christian laughs just then Ted and Phoebe arrive, I search Teds face but he looks carefree and happy, I am so relieved.

"Hi gang!" Christian smiles and they both run to him and hug him tightly I lean across and we all stand in one huge group hug and it feels so good.

"Listen, I have something to tell you" Christian untangles himself from the children and me and sits down on the sofa; Izzy is still clinging to him like a limpet. "We are all going to Aspen for the weekend; does that sound like a good idea?"

Phoebe and Ted's faces light up like Christmas, and they cheer loudly, Izzy bounces on Christians lap clapping her hands.

"I think that's a unanimous yes" I say with an amused look at my children.

I suddenly have a troubling thought, I discreetly leave the room and rummage in my purse for my Blackberry, I call Dr Green.

"Dr Green" she says after a couple of rings

"Hello, Dr Green its Ana, Ana Grey" I stammer

"Mrs Grey how are you?"

"I'm fine, erm...Christian and I were thinking of going away for the weekend – to Aspen, we will be flying will that be alright do you think?" I cross my fingers I want this trip more than anything, I need it.

There is silence for a few minutes and then Dr Green replies

"Well, you have not had any further bleeding since your miscarriage, you have been observing the strict rest and at your last scan everything seemed to be going according to plan, what are you planning to do while you are there? I don't see the harm, I think it will do you more good than harm to be honest, just take your time, drink plenty and move about while on the plane, if anything at all happens don't hesitate to call me, I will refer you straight to the local hospital there Dr McKenna is an old friend of mine, but as long as you don't overdo it you should be fine, and I really think its the best thing you can do, have a good time Mrs Grey"

"Oh thank you" reply, and with that she hangs up.

I am beaming from ear to ear, I turn and Christian is standing behind me.

"I wondered where you had sneaked off to, everything ok? He asks

"Yes, I was just checking with Dr Green I am ok to fly it suddenly dawned on my after the miscarriage she might not think it was a good idea, but she said I should be ok"

Christian relaxes and pulls me into his arms.

"I think it will do you the power of good, this is the first time I have seen you smile properly in the last few months, it will be good for us all" he holds me close.

"DADDY!" voices from upstairs disturb our moment, and I giggle

"Oh I so love that sound, and I haven't heard it for so long" he says

"I think you are wanted daddy!" I say as I hear what sounds like a herd of elephants thundering down the stairs.

Christian releases me and leaves the room. I follow and there are Ted and Phoebe standing with their cases packed, Christian gently takes them from them and opens them and laughs loudly.

"Erm I think you are going to need a bit more than your dolly sweetheart" he says to Phoebe

He looks inside Teds, "I think we might need to rearrange yours as well".

"Now daddy, lets do it now!" Phoebe squeals pulling Christian towards the stairs, Christian laughs again and allows himself to be dragged upstairs. Gail appears smiling.

"I think I'll go and help too" she says.

I nod in agreement and follow her upstairs.


	5. Chapter 5

**(I do not own Fifty Shades of Grey)**

CHAPTER FIVE

I am standing silently watching my children beside themselves with excitement, helping (in the loosest sense of the word) Taylor load the bags into the car. It always makes me stop and think that my children want for nothing, they are 6, 4 and 2 and they are seasoned travelers by plane, helicopter and boat, at that age I hadn't even been on a plane for the first time!

Izzy is running around bursting with excitement "Daddy plane, daddy plane, daddy plane" she keeps repeating over and over, Christian strides out and whips her up in his arms.

"Daddy plane!" she says to him and he laughs freely

"Well we have to go in the car first" he says as he reaches in and fastens her into her car seat. Ted and Phoebe clamber into their seats and Christian and I take our places in the car.

"DADDY PLANE, LOOK" Izzy squeals as we drive on to the tarmac at Sea Tac, awaiting us is Christians GEH jet.

She wriggles and struggles as Christian unfastens her and lifts her into his arms. Ted and Phoebe are already half way up the steps closely followed by Taylor who is carrying the bags. A car pulls up behind ours and I glance over, its Sawyer and Ryan. I am not upset by this I knew it would happen, and I understand, since losing Matthew I have a greater empathy for Christians pathological over protectiveness, and with Jack out there somewhere I am just happy we are so well protected. I walk slowly towards the steps of the plane and steadily climb up them.

"Mrs Grey, you look well" Stephan smiles and shakes my hand I return the smile and thank him quietly.

Christian follows me in and shakes Stephan by the hand, "thanks for doing this" he says.

Izzy puts out her small hand to Stephan copying her father "fank you" she says with a serious look on her face, Stephan smiles and gently shakes Izzy's small hand.

"You are very welcome Isobel" he says, everyone laughs. I hear a familiar laugh and swing round to the seats behind me, it can't be, sitting in front of me is my beloved step father.

"DADDY" I squeal tears streaming down my cheeks, "What, When?"

"Hey Annie, Christian phoned me last night, invited me to come fishing, now you know that's an offer I can't refuse!" my stepfather stands and hugs me in a rare show of affection. I sit beside him holding his hand.

"Oh dad, its so good to see you" I say as the tears continue to fall.

I haven't spoken to him since I lost Matthew, I haven't spoken to anyone really but I know he has been in contact with Christian but has left me the space and time to think things out for myself, I am so glad he is here I finally feel ready to talk to him about everything that has happened.

Izzy sees my father and immediately leans towards him, "Gamdad" she squeals

Christian lowers Izzy onto Ray's lap.

"Hello munchkin!" my father says as he bounces her on his knee, Phoebe comes up behind my father and puts her arms around his neck , and Ted is sitting on the other side of him, with his small hand on his arm.

I know my father finds all this attention a bit overwhelming but he doesn't show it, he adores his grandchildren.

Before we know it we are landing in Aspen, the flight has gone well and despite Christian watching me like a hawk throughout the journey I am feeling good. I was right this is exactly what we all need.

I am sitting quietly in the lounge, reading. Phoebe is in the kitchen with Carmella baking a cake for tea. Izzy is playing with my father outside, on the swing that Christian and Elliot built, and Christian and Ted have gone fishing. I was surprised my father didn't go with them, but he assured me he would be joining them later. I think this was Christian's idea he wanted some time alone with Ted and he wanted to make sure I wasn't left alone – just in case.

I put my book down and my mind starts wandering back in time to the births of my children, Ted's birth the emergency caesarean, Phoebe the calmer elective caesarean. Izzy had to be different of course, we had a planned elective caesarean booked but Izzy had decided she couldn't wait. I still remember the panic as Christian drove me to the hospital in the dead of night, after my waters had broken, by the time we got there Izzy was nearly here and it was too late for a caesarean. I had finally managed to deliver a baby myself. I smile at least I managed to give birth naturally once, my thoughts darken as I remember Matthew he had been delivered naturally I shake my head determined not to go in that direction.  
My thoughts are disturbed by my son running in full of excitement.

"Mommy I caught a fish" he says proudly, "come and see!"

He grabs my hand and pulls I get up and follow him out.

"Oh wow! You caught that Ted, well done" I say as I look at the large fish in the back of the truck, I glance at Christian who is beaming with pride at his son.

My father appears around the corner with Izzy in his arms.

"Granddad look at what I caught" Ted says running to my father, Ray walks towards the truck and looks in.

"Well done Ted, that's a beauty; shall we go again later and see if we can catch another one?"

Ted nods enthusiastically, "daddy didn't catch one so we have to go again so he can get one" we all laugh.

The day passes too quickly and it has been a real tonic for us all, I have managed to get to talk to my father about everything that has happened and it has made me feel a lot better about things. I still blame myself I think it will take a long time for that feeling to go if ever but now I am starting to feel happier about things.

Christian and Ted have spent some quality father and son time together, which I know did them both good, Christian never did catch a fish, my father caught three and Ted well, his one seemed to get bigger every time he talked about it!

I am watching my family sitting around the table as we wait for tea, we are heading back to Seattle tomorrow. Carmella and Phoebe come in together and Phoebe is carrying the cake she and Carmella made and she proudly places it on the table.

"Look what I made" she says "it's chocolate" she adds

We all look at the over decorated cake, Phoebe has gone mad with the frosting and sprinkles. Christian leaps up and fetches his camera, and takes a photograph of the cake Carmella puts the plate into Phoebe's hands and Christian takes another photo.

"There" he says "I have a photo of Ted with his fish and Phoebe with her cake, what clever children I have!"

"I think we had better have some of this cake" I say

"Ooh cake!" Izzy says and we all laugh.

All too soon we are back in Seattle. Sawyer has taken my father home. As we are driving home we drive past Escala and I idly gaze out of the window, suddenly I freeze, I place my hand on Christian's arm.

"Christian look" I whisper

Christian swings his around to where I am pointing and scowls, loitering by the main doors into the lobby of Escala is Jack Hyde. Christian fishes out his Blackberry and dials a number he looks murderous.

"Welch, Hyde is outside Escala, what are you going to do about it?" he hisses into the phone, I shudder at his tone; I know he is trying to keep his temper and avoid waking our children who are sleeping peacefully in their seats.

He listens, "Right ...well as long as you are... goodnight" he hangs up.

He turns to me, "Its ok baby, Welch knows he is there and he is being watched, he won't get anywhere near us"  
I nod but I am worried.

We arrive home, and the children are put to bed, I am sitting on the sofa, absentmindedly caressing my bump as Christian walks in on me, and frowns, he sits down beside me.

"What's wrong Ana? don't let that fucker spoil our wonderful weekend"

I turn and look at him and smile, "No it was just a shock seeing him again that's all"

Christian nods, "I'm sure it was, but don't worry, I will keep you and this little one safe!" and he pulls me into his arms and kisses my forehead, and places his hand over mine on my stomach.

I try to change the subject. "What did you and Ted talk about while you were fishing yesterday?" I ask casually.

Christian smiles, "That son of ours has an old head on his shoulders some of the things he comes out with"

I look at Christian, willing him to tell me more. He looks at me debating whether or not to tell me.

"He asked me if I was sad Matthew had died" he whispers, I take a sharp breath in.

"What did you say?" I reply hardly daring to breathe.

"I told him of course I was, and do you know what he said to me, he repeated to me what you had told him, that it was nobody's fault, it just happened".

I swallow hard, tears welling up in my eyes.

"He then said he was glad you were having a boy and get this - he said he would teach him to fish" He says this indignantly I can't help but smile.

"Well the results speak for themselves, you didn't catch anything and he did, so..." I shrug and laugh, at the look on Christians face. He pulls me close and we dissolve in to giggles.

I am feeling positive now and not even the reappearance of Jack Hyde can put a dampener on that.


	6. Chapter 6

**Thank you for the continued positive feedback to my story I am glad so many of you are enjoying it. (I do not own Fifty Shades of Grey)**

CHAPTER SIX

It is 3:20 in the morning, it is dark and I am in pain. I am lying in bed terrified of looking as I don't think I could bear it if the wet feeling I have is blood. I am due to go into hospital in 3 days time for a caesarean and I am hoping against hope that our baby boy has decided he wants to be born naturally.

I lean over and nudge Christian; he rolls over and puts his arm around me.

"Christian" I whisper, trying to keep my rising panic under control.

Christian wakes and puts on the lamp he looks at me with eyes full of concern, "What wrong?" he asks, now fully awake.

I can't stop the tears from falling "I am in pain, and I am hoping my waters have just broken" I whisper.

"Oh baby, I've got you" Christian says tenderly as he wraps his arm around me, "here, let me look" he says I screw my eyes tight and hold my breath. I can feel his anxiety rippling off him as I cling to him. Christian gently pulls the covers back and lifts me, I feel his smile against my cheek, he kisses me and murmurs in my ear "I think our son is ready to meet us Mrs Grey" .

I let out a deep breath and cling tighter to Christian, as the tears refuse to stop falling.

Within 10 minutes we are both dressed and I am in the car, Christian is issuing rapid instructions to Gail, Ryan, Prescott and Sawyer while I patiently wait in the car. Taylor glances at me through the rear view mirror.

"Are you ok Mrs Grey" he asks nervously, I think he remembers how close it was with Izzy and how close we came to delivering her in the back of the car. I smile which turns into a grimace as another pain consumes me. All I can manage is a nod. Christian opens the car door and slides in beside me grasping my hand and putting his arm around me.

"Ready sir?" Taylor asks from the front.

"Yes we are ready" Christian replies.

With that Taylor swiftly starts our journey to the hospital. When we arrive my contractions are coming thick and fast, Christian carries me into the hospital, my mind immediately returns to the last time he did this, and I try to block it out of my mind.

Dr Green is waiting, and smiling kindly at us, after a swift examination she tells us that its not too late for a caesarean, if we still want to go ahead. Christian looks at me, I know this is what he wants, he prefers the controlled situation of a caesarean, his panic was unbearable during Izzy's birth, so despite my longing for one final natural birth I nod in agreement and we are swiftly taken up to the OR.

Christian kept his word and went for a vasectomy after we returned from Aspen. Now fully recovered he sits with me clasping my hand. As Dr Green takes a final examination before the anaesthetist prepares the epidural, she gasps in surprise, the short time it took us to get to the OR my son it seemed had strapped on a jet back and was half way down the birth canal. The anaesthetist leaves the room.

"Ok Mrs Grey it seems like your son has decided against a caesarean birth, I have never seen anything happen so quickly, not the most orthodox of delivery rooms but we don't have time to move you now, so it will have to do".

Christian is watching and holding my hand as I start to push. He is wracked with anxiety, I can tell by the look on his face although he is trying to hide it.

"That's it baby, good girl, you are doing so well" he says.

I get another contraction and I push for all I am worth, whilst squeezing Christian's hand.

"One more push Mrs Grey and we will have the head out" Dr Green says in her usual calm no nonsense manner.

Another pain tightens like a belt around my stomach and I push again, after a couple more pushes I hear an angry cry, tears pour down my cheeks and I glance down and see Christian cutting the cord and Dr Green lifting my son towards me. I hold out my arms and gather the crying, wriggling little bundle into my arms. I gaze up at Christian who is looking at me with tears in his eyes.

"Hey now" I whisper to the screwed up little face, now blinking at me.

Christian leans down and strokes his head, "He is perfect Ana, just perfect!"

"Do you want to say hi to your daddy?" I offer our son to Christian who takes him in his arms and plants a small kiss on his forehead.

We are soon moved to a side room, and Christian calls everyone to let them know, and then we sit quietly gazing at our little boy.

"What are we going to name him?" Christian asks.

"I don't know" I reply.

I hadn't dared think about a name in case anything went wrong, and now our little boy is here in our arms, I am still having trouble believing it.

We are back at home and Gail is fussing around me, Christian is being the doting father, and the children are just captivated. Izzy keeps going to the crib and pointing at the sleeping baby and saying "baby".

Ted looks at his new little brother who is sleeping peacefully in my arms and smiles at me, "What's his name?" he asks.

"I don't know, we haven't decided yet" I reply.

Ted looks at me and says "I like the name Alexander, mom how did you pick my name?

I smile at him, "That's a lovely name Ted, as for you, well you were named after two very special people, your full name is Theodore Raymond, Theodore is what your great grandfathers name was, he was Grandma Grace's daddy, and daddy's granddad and Raymond is my daddy's name"

"What about Izzy and Pheebs?" he asks

"Well your daddy picked Phoebe, because it was just a name he liked and so did I her middle name is Carla, which is my mommy's name – you know Grandma Carla, and Isobel well your Aunt Kate mentioned that name and I liked it, and her middle name is Grace after Grandma Grace – daddy's mommy".

I stop, there is another name, and I hope Ted doesn't ask about that one. He looks at me, and then mutters "What about Matthew?"

I take a deep breath and swallow, "I picked that – it was just a name I liked" I stop take a deep breath and continue "It was a sad time, but he was part of our family, his full name was Matthew David" I liked Matthew and daddy picked David".

Ted nods, he looks up and Christian is standing beside the sofa, he sits beside me. I smile a little too brightly at Christian and say "Ted has picked a lovely name for his brother I think we should go with it"

"You have?" he replies looking expectantly at Ted.

Ted nods enthusiastically "I like the name Alexander" he says with a hopeful look on his face.

"Alexander, yes I like that too" Christian replies and ruffles his sons copper hair "Good work Ted that's a lovely name".

I suddenly have a wave of inspiration, "I have the perfect middle name for him" I say quietly.

Christian puts his arm around me and looks from the sleeping baby in my arms to me and smiles, "and what would that be Mrs Grey?"

"Christian" I whisper.

Christian blanches and leans back, oh dear this could go either way, I wait Ted gets up happy that his choice has been picked and runs to find Gail and tell her he has picked his baby brothers name, Christian watches him go, he hasn't said a word.

"Well?" I say urging him silently to say something.

"Why?...why would you think he should have my name?" he mutters.

I turn and gaze up into his eyes, "Because he is a special little boy he is a strong little fighter, he had the will to survive when his brother died, he survived and he is here now – does that remind you of anyone because it reminds me of someone, someone who I think is very special too" I touch his cheek, tears are rolling down my cheeks and I wait for him to respond.

After what seems like an eternity I can't bear the silence any longer, I gently place Alexander in his crib at the side of the sofa, and turn to Christian, and take him in my arms.

"Say something" I whisper

Christian holds me tighter and I am beginning to worry, I place a kiss on his cheek he moves and kisses me deeply on the lips.

"I love you so much Mrs Grey" he says his voice thick with emotion.

"Is that a yes then" I ask hopefully

"Yes, Alexander Christian Grey – does have a ring to it" he smiles

I sag with relief, oh thank god. 


	7. Chapter 7

**Thank you all once again for the reviews and feedback it is so good to know so many of you are enjoying my story. Please bare with the change of route in this chapter it is all leading up to something! (I do not own Fifty Shades of Grey)**

CHAPTER SEVEN

We have a house full of visitors Grace and Carrick and Kate and Elliot have all come to visit there is squealing and laughter as Phoebe is playing with her cousins Ava and Zoe. Poor Ted has come to sit with us. Suddenly there is a flurry of activity as Mia and Ethan arrive.

I jump to my feet and embrace Ethan warmly as Mia runs to Christian and flings her arms around his neck. Ethan makes his way over to Kate and gives her a peck on the cheek and shakes Elliot warmly by the hand, before turning to Christian and shaking his hand and congratulating him.

"Mia -We weren't expecting you both back until next weekend" Grace says in surprise as she gets over the shock of seeing her daughter.

"Mom do you really think I would stay away when my latest nephew has been born" Mia replies scornfully.

"She's been terrible since Christian rang her to tell her! Ethan says winking at Mia who giggles.

"So how was the holiday?" I ask bursting to know. "It was lovely, the best, but not now, I want to see my nephew where is he?" Mia makes her way over to her father and gives him a peck on the cheek.

"Oh Ana, he's a sweetheart! Congratulations you deserve it after what you have been through!" Mia stares down at Alexander who is sleeping peacefully in Carrick's arms.

I make my way over to Kate who is standing apart and very quiet, she is staring at Elliot who in deep conversation with Ethan.

"Earth to Kate" I say and give my dear friend a nudge, she turns and smiles weakly at me, I tug her sleeve and we quietly move out of the room.

"What's wrong Kate?" I ask concerned at the very unusual behaviour my friend is exhibiting.

"Ana I'm sorry after all you have been through you don't want to hear my problems"

I frown and pull her towards me "Look at me, you are my best friend in the whole world, hell we are sisters if you can't talk to me then there is something seriously wrong, I know I have been a bad friend recently, tell me what's wrong?"

Kate smiles and sighs, "I think Elliot is having an affair" she says tears welling up in her eyes.

What! I pull her into an embrace and the tears start to fall she hugs me tightly. I can't bear this my temper starts to rise.

"Wait here" I say and leave the room.

Things are spinning around in my head, what can I do, my instinct is to go out and slap Elliot for hurting my friend, but I can't do that not with everyone around. How to go about this, inspiration hits me. I walk back into the lounge and walk up to Christian, and slip my arm around him,

"Christian can you just help me with something" I whisper to him.

He smiles down at me "Sure baby", he turns to Elliot and Ethan "excuse me please"

I pull Christian to the corner of the room and hiss in his ear "Kate is in tears in the kitchen – she thinks Elliot is having an affair, will you talk to him?"

Christians mouth drops open, "What now?" he splutters in shock

"Yes" I hiss back "because if you don't I will!" I add and leave the room to return to Kate. Moments later Christian opens the door and is followed by a very sheepish looking Elliot.

I discreetly leave the room and leave Kate and Elliot to it. After a few moments Elliot comes out red faced and excuses himself and goes and out into the garden. By this time Grace is looking suspiciously at first Christian and then me, she walks towards me.

"Ana?" she looks questioningly at me

"I don't know" I reply "but I am about to go and find out" I head into the kitchen where Kate is slumped on the floor sobbing her heart out. I crouch down beside her and rock her gently in my arms.

Grace enters the room and kneels beside Kate, "What's wrong?" she says

"Elliot...he's ...he's having an affair" Kate splutters through sobs she turns to me "I'm so sorry for ruining your night Ana"

I shake my head and hug her close, at this moment I want to hurt Elliot and hurt him badly. I think someone will do the job for me though, as I glance up I see Ethan in the doorway, with fury on his face, he has heard everything, he spins on his heel and storms out into the garden. I panic suddenly wondering where the children are, they don't need to see or hear any of this, as I am thinking this, Ted runs in looking panic stricken, "why is Uncle Ethan hitting Uncle Elliot" he says.

Grace immediately takes control. "Ted go upstairs and stay with the girls I think Uncle Ethan and Uncle Elliot are playing and its got a bit out of hand that's all nothing to worry about"

Ted nods and disappears.

Grace stalks out of the kitchen and into the garden Kate and I follow, Christian is holding Ethan and Carrick is holding Elliot with a bemused look on his face, Mia is crying and Christian is looking with contempt at his brother. As one, everyone turns as Grace walks towards Elliot.

"You fool" she says. Elliot lowers his head, Grace turns and looks at Christian and then at me. "I am sorry your evening has been ruined, I would like a word with my son please". Everyone returns inside Christian leading Ethan with his arm around his shoulder. Ethan glances up at Kate and walks towards her folding her into his arms.

"Will someone tell me what's going on?" Mia demands and Carrick nods in agreement.

"My dearest brother, has been cheating on his wife" Christian spits out in disgust. There is a sharp intake of breath from Mia and Carrick and Mia rushes to Kate and embraces her.

There is an uneasy silence as we wait for Grace to return, the atmosphere is thick. Christian leaves the room to check on the children. He has never been fond of Kate but when he returns it is clear he has taken control of the situation.

He turns to Kate. "The children are in bed – Ava and Zoe are in the spare rooms and you are welcome to the other one for as long as you need it".

"Thank you Christian" Kate mutters and manages a small weak smile, "I need to get some things" She moves towards the door and Christian stops her, and calls for Taylor.

"Sir" Taylor says as he appears in the doorway.

"Taylor would you please take Mrs Grey to her house and help her fetch some belongings and bring her back here"

"Yes Sir" Taylor replies and holds the door open for Kate.

I squeeze Christian's hand he looks down at me and his face softens.

"Thank you" I mouth at him and kiss him on the cheek.

Ethan turns to Christian and shakes his hand, and pulls Christian into a hug, "Thank you Christian, and I'm sorry I caused a scene, but she's my sister you know"

Christian nods "Think nothing of it" he replies. Ethan and Mia leave Mia is weeping quietly and Ethan puts his arm around her as he leads her out.  
Carrick is looking confused and angry, he walks outside to Grace who is still talking to Elliot leaving Christian and I alone, Christian pull me into his arms.

"I would never cheat on you Ana" he whispers softly into my hair

I squeeze him "I know" I reply. Just at that moment a crying noise comes from the crib at the side of the sofa, Christian reaches in and lifts his son out and cradles him in his arms. "he needs changing" he states and walks away leaving me alone. I sink on to the sofa my head spinning, what the hell happened tonight, I put my head in my hands thinking about the ramifications of the night's events.

The next morning Kate is sitting looking lost in the lounge as I walk towards her I notice she is still in her pyjamas – I smile as I take in the fact they are the fluffy pink ones, I can't believe she still has those after all these years. She smiles weakly at me as I sit beside her and take her hand.

"You can stay here as long as you like" I say, she nods silently.

Gail appears in the doorway, "What would you like for breakfast Mrs Grey?"

I turn and smile at Gail "Granola please for me, Kate?"

Kate looks from me to Gail and shakes her head, then looking up says "I would love a mug of coffee please".

"Of course" Gail says kindly and leaves the room.

Christian appears and looks from Kate to me, unsure of what to say. Kate glances up at him and smiles. "Thank you for letting us stay Christian" she says her voice wobbling.

"It my pleasure" he replies kindly and disappears into the kitchen.

Kate has decided to take a couple of days off work to sort things out and as she prepares to take Ava and Zoe to school she asks if she can do anything. I shake my head and smile.

"You come back here and we can have a good long chat!"

Three weeks later and Kate is sorting out what life holds for her now, she is divorcing Elliot and hopes that the settlement will give her enough to buy a small house for herself and the girls, she doesn't want the house Elliot built for them, until that happens she is staying with us. I am feeding Alexander when Kate walks in from work, she looks troubled.

"What's up?" I say

"Ana i don't want to worry you but I think I was followed when I was driving back here tonight, a car followed me all the way from work to here and as I pulled in he drove off"

I go cold, and call Sawyer, Kate repeats what she has told me giving Sawyer a full description of the car, Sawyer calls Taylor immediately and within minutes my mobile is buzzing.

"Ana are you OK?" Christian's anxious voice comes to me down the phone.

"I'm fine; who do you think it is?" I ask

"I don't know but my guess is it's that fucker Hyde, we will know more when the car has been traced, Ana listen to me don't go anywhere without Sawyer do you understand me?"

"I understand" I reply

"Good, look I have to go baby, remember what i said" Christian hangs up and I am left with a very bad feeling.


	8. Chapter 8

**(I do not own Fifty Shades of Grey)**

CHAPTER EIGHT

I cannot sleep, my mind is racing with all the events of the past months, everything that has happened. Finding out I was pregnant again, then finding out it was twins, losing Matthew, finally safely giving birth to Alexander, Christian agreeing to and having a vasectomy, Elliot cheating on Kate, Kate leaving Elliot and moving in with us, and then looming in the background the sinister figure of Jack Hyde. I shiver as I think about him.  
I decide to get up, I glance down at my sleeping husband at the side of me, he looks so peaceful and devastatingly beautiful, I love to watch him sleep, but rarely get the chance to. I carefully leave the bed and walk into the kitchen, I pour myself a drink and go and sit in the lounge. I am surprised to see Kate sitting on the sofa she looks up and smiles as I walk towards her.

"Can't you sleep either?" I whisper as I sit down beside her.

"No" she replies, "I didn't wake you did I?" she looks worried

"No not at all I can't sleep my mind has been going over everything that has happened recently – its been quite a year up to now!" I sip my drink.  
Kate smiles at me "I can't believe how strong you are Ana, everything you have been through, and yet you don't seem to bat an eye lid, you just cope and carry on"

I smile "I think this year has tested my strength more than any other" I pause "You haven't had an easy time either, and you have coped very well with it"

"Oh Ana, appearances can be deceiving, I am destroyed inside, I can't believe Elliot would do something like that to me, and his children, I really loved him more than anyone, he was my world Ana and now that world has crumbled and I just don't know what to do"

I put my arm around Kate's shoulder and squeeze gently, "How are the girls taking it?"

"Fine, Elliot wasn't much of hands on father – not like Christian, don't get me wrong he is a good father, and he loves the girls but there isn't the closeness there, I have seen how Ted, Phoebe and Izzy react when they set eyes on Christian, its beautiful"

I smile, "Yes it is" I agree.

I look up and Christian is standing in the doorway, I don't know how long he has been standing there and listening. He nods at Kate and turns to me.  
"I woke up and you weren't there, are you alright?" anxiety is written all over his face.

I smile at him, "I'm fine I just couldn't sleep". He nods pacified by what I have told him, Kate looks at us both, and diplomatically stands. "Well I suppose I'd better try and get some sleep" she says, I hug her tightly and she disappears upstairs. Christian watches her go, and moves across the room towards me. "I heard" he says quietly.

I wrap my arms around his waist and hold him close.

"She's right though, you are so strong Ana, how you have coped" he runs his fist down my cheek.

I suddenly have a desire unfurling inside me, a desire which has been absent for months, its been so long, since we made love, and at this moment it is all I want. I wrap my arms around Christian's neck

"Make love to me?" I ask as I gaze into his eyes.

His surprise is evident, and his face lights up, he sweeps me up into his arms "With pleasure Mrs Grey!" he replies.

We lie in each others arms, quietly not saying anything just savouring the tender moments we have shared. Our moment is shattered by a piercing cry, I get up and go to our son, I hold him in my arms feeding him, and Christian comes up behind me and kisses me.

The next morning I am shattered I struggle to get up and watch Christian getting dressed, I still wonder how he manages to looks so bright when he has had little sleep, and yet I look and feel like a zombie.

"What are your plans today Mrs Grey?" he asks

"I am going to work to pick up my correspondence and see how things are ticking over, I trust my team to keep things moving in the right direction, but I think its time I showed my face again" I look at Christian to gauge his reaction. "Plus I want to show our son off to everyone" I grin at him.

"Ok but keep Luke close, do you understand me?" he says in that no nonsense tone.

I nod, there is no way I am going to defy him with Jack Hyde on the loose.

I walk into Grey Publishing and Claire jumps up and runs to me "Ana!" she squeals "How are you, oh let me see" she is bubbling with enthusiasm and peers down into the car seat I am carrying. I am soon surrounded by my team all anxious to get a look at Alexander and it takes me a while to make my way to my office.

Hannah is cooing over Alexander as I collect my correspondence, he is totally oblivious to the commotion he has caused, and the work he has disrupted. After I have caught up with all the important news , and signed a few papers. I hand over the work I have been completing at home and just take a moment to gather my thoughts, my phone rings.

"Ana Grey" I answer

"Well hello Ana, its been a long time" the voice at the end of the phone makes me freeze with fear, its Jack.

I quickly grab my notepad, and write _fetch Luke now!_ on it and point at it insistently, Hannah nods and a moment later Sawyer is standing in the doorway, I grab the pencil and write _Jack Hyde_ on the pad and point to my phone. Sawyers mouth drops open but his reaction is instant. He grabs his mobile and hits a speed dial number.

"T... Jack Hyde is on the phone to Mrs Grey now, at the office...right...ok"

Sawyer writes on the pad _keep him talking_, I nod but my hand is shaking.

Jack is talking to me clearly still as deluded as he was. I get frustrated, "Get to the point Jack, what do you want?" I snap

"Temper temper" he snarls at me, "You need to be nice to me you bitch, I have something you don't want to lose"

I go cold, what the hell is he talking about, I panic and suddenly remember how he was seem outside Ted's school, oh my god my children, I look at Alexander and start to hyper ventilate. I try to keep my voice level as I say "What are you talking about"

"All in good time, you will be hearing from again soon" and with that he hangs up, I am beside myself, I go to call Christian, but at that very moment he is striding in the door closely followed by Taylor who looks grim.

"Christian – he's done something again, he says he has something I don't want to lose, oh Christian the children" I run to him.

"Shit" he mutters and at that moment his Blackberry buzzes, he frowns as he glances at the number

"What" he snarls, he stills and glances at me, he listens and in a softer voice says "Don't panic we'll find her, I promise" he hangs up.

"Christian?" I look up at him.

"The children are fine" he says and I immediately relax, but looking at his face I know there is more and it isn't good.

"But?" I coax

"That was Elliot he went to ours this morning to talk to Kate but missed her he saw her driving to work and followed, she was run off the road, he couldn't get there in time, it was Hyde, he has Kate"

I feel my legs buckle and Christian grabs me.

"Ana, take Alexander and go home, stay there and don't go anywhere, I will be with you shortly, don't worry, we will find her, and Ana if he calls you again...don't do anything stupid" 


	9. Chapter 9

CHAPTER NINE

I am pacing around my lounge like a caged animal, Ethan sits in one corner of the room with Mia holding his hand and Elliot sits in the other, weeping quietly.

Grace is trying to comfort him. I can't stand the atmosphere in here any longer and go in search of Christian, I find him with Taylor in the study talking on speakerphone with Welch, who it seems is doing everything to trace Jack and Kate. As I stare at them, my Blackberry in my pocket buzzes, I look at it and look back at Christian who immediately stands.

"Welch, he is calling Ana now" he says.

I walk towards him and show him the screen of my Blackberry, Its Kate's number on the screen, and I shudder.

The disembodied voice of Christian's security adviser comes over the speaker phone "Mrs Grey answer the phone please and try and stay calm"

I glance at Christian and he nods at me.

"Hello" I say i press the speaker button so the voice fills the room.

"Well about time, I have someone here who wants to talk to you" there is a scuffling sound.

"Ana – I'm sorry don't do anything stupid, listen, tell Elliot I still love him and tell him...tell him he is going to be a father again and..." She stops abruptly

"Give me that damn phone you bitch, you are not here for fucking chit chat" I hear a slapping sound and Kate scream.

"Kate" I wail tears streaming down my cheeks "Don't you hurt her Jack" I scream down the phone.

He laughs a cold mirthless laugh "Well that depends on you doesn't it" Its you I really want, you and that fucking rich bastard you married, both of you destroyed my life, and you are going to pay for that, she is only the consolation prize – the easy target I can't get anywhere near you and your fucking brats, that bastard has security so tight so I went for her, your friend and his brothers wife so she must have some leverage?" he pauses and laughs again. "So listen carefully, there's a good girl and do exactly as I say"

"OK" I whisper, now shaking uncontrollably

Christian comes behind me and lowers me into a chair he has pulled up and puts his hand on my shoulder, I take a deep breath.

"When I tell you to you are going to come here and join your little friend, you are going to finally get me what I am owed by that fucking bastard and his family and they owe me big time, he was nothing when I first met him, nothing but he took everything that was meant for me, and remember this ...remember this bitch means nothing to me so I won't think twice about fucking her up and killing her – I will be in touch"

The line goes dead; I drop the phone on the table and start to sob.

"Did you get all that Welch?" Christian says soberly

"I did, he sounds unhinged, I have that conversation on tape now, I think this is now a matter for the authorities Mr Grey"

"Thank you Welch, I'll be in touch, goodbye" Christian disconnects the call, there is silence as we all sit and process what has just happened.

A noise distracts us and as one we all turn and Elliot is standing motionless in the doorway.

"She's pregnant" he whispers

Christian strides towards his brother and embraces him, its too much and Elliot collapses in his arms "Oh god I have been such an idiot, I love her so much, it was just so stupid it didn't mean anything, we had a fight and I just went out and got drunk and it was a one night stand, but she wanted to see me again and i was too stupid and weak to say no, if anything happens to her or the baby I will never forgive myself, what am i going to do, oh Christian what can I do" he carries on rambling and sobbing and Christian takes him by the shoulders and shakes him. I walk over and join them.

"Snap out of it, and listen to me" Christian commands.

Elliot stops and stares at Christian dumbfounded.

"Sir" Taylor says and brings over a laptop I look at Taylor and glance down at the laptop he has been tapping and I see he has been tracking Kate's cell phone. I try to look and see if I can read what it says, I am shocked when I read where he is, he is at Escala.

Christian glances at the screen and nods "well we know where they are" he states and looks at Elliot "shall we go and fetch her?"

I gasp, "Christian, no" I whisper

My mind starts to race, there is no way Christian can face Jack, he's insane, he will kill him, what if Jack has a gun I am beside myself but Elliot's distraught words are going through my head. Christian has completely taken charge, Elliot is suddenly standing tall, and defiant, Taylor is checking his gun, I swallow hard.

"Christian this is a job for the police" I whisper

"No if Hyde sees the police arriving at Escala Kate will be dead before they enter the building our only chance is if we do this"

I fling my arms around him "Please be careful I whisper I couldn't bear it if anything happened to you, come back to me".

Christian holds me close and kisses my head, but worryingly doesn't say a word. In a matter of moments they have gone.

I look around I am alone, I sink to my knees what the hell is he thinking Jack hates him, and that phone call was so strange he sounded deranged, he will take pleasure in killing him, he is deranged enough to. I can't do nothing but what can I do I sit and think, I realise I can't let Christian do this without thinking too closely about what I am about to I run to Taylor's office and unlock the drawer, I see his spare gun and grab it, it all seems a bit like de ja vous as my mind is cast to the last time I did something like this. I slip out of Taylor's office and out the back door, I get to the car I jump in and shout to no-one in particular "I'm sorry I have to!" and drive off.

As I pull into the car park at Escala I wonder where everyone is, I see the SUV abandoned in the corner I walk over my heart beating out of my chest, I glance inside, its completely empty. Suddenly I see something or someone move. I freeze, it's jack he is going into the service lift, I know where they are, I remember when Leila broke in where she hid. I follow, quickly and quietly.

As I arrive I hear Jack shouting and swearing, Christian and Elliot's voices, Taylor shouting commands it sounds chaotic then suddenly 3 gun shots ring out, then silence, I go cold and pause I don't know what to do, when I feel a hand on my shoulder, I nearly jump out of my skin and turn, Sawyer is behind me his gun drawn and his finger up to his lips I have never been so pleased to see him in my life, he pulls me behind him and pushes the door open. I see Kate lying tied up with duct tape on the floor she is unconscious and she looks a mess as though she has been badly beaten I glance around the room, Christian is sitting slumped in the corner conscious but bleeding heavily from his shoulder, Taylor and Elliot are nowhere to be seen, Sawyer rushes to Christians side and tends to his shoulder, Christians eyes widen when he sees me enter the room not with anger with fear and just then I know why, a voice behind me startles me. "Well look what we have here" My actions are instant, I spin on the spot and fire at point blank range into Jack. He collapses to the floor groaning and clutching his arm. A moment later Taylor and Elliot appear, Taylor immediately lowers his gun and gapes at me. I drop the gun and run to Christian's side. Tears are pouring down my cheeks and I cling to him.

Christian winces as he turns to me "When are you going to learn to do as you are told?" he whispers.

Oh thank god he's talking to me, I turn to him, "Isn't that one of the things you love about me?" I reply.

His mouth twitches and he smiles, "Yes it is, but you also have a family to consider, you need to realise you are needed, I don't want Alexander growing up with only pictures of his mother, and how do you think the others would feel had something happened to you, and besides I couldn't live without you"

I roll my eyes and smile thinking it is ironic he should be saying this to me when he is the one who has been shot.

"What about you" I reply glancing at the bleeding wound on his shoulder.

He cannot answer that and instead pulls me close wrapping his good arm around me. I glance over to Elliot who is sitting beside Kate, her head in his lap "Kate stay with me, I love you, I'm so sorry".

She moves and opens her eyes, "Elliot?" she whispers, she is struggling to breathe.

I ease myself away from Christian and shuffle over to my friend, "Don't move Kate an ambulance is coming I say and stroke her hair"

She looks round at me in surprise, "Ana I told you not to do anything stupid!" she gasps

I smile "It was Christian, Elliot and Taylor who decided to do something stupid this time" I say still stroking her hair.


	10. Chapter 10

CHAPTER TEN

I am sitting with Christian who is being patched up at the hospital, I am quiet and Christian is sitting next to me he looks calm but I know better he is angry, angry with me.

"I'm sorry, I just couldn't stay at home and do nothing" I whisper.

He says nothing, but just continues to glare at me.

The door opens and Elliot walks in, he smiles at me, well at least someone isn't burning with rage.

"How's Kate" I ask

"Still in surgery, he beat her up quite badly, she's in a bit of a state" he is quiet, I reach out and touch his hand.

"Kate's strong she will come through this" I whisper, "is the baby ok? I add and hold my breath terrified of the answer.

Elliot shakes his head, "we don't know yet" .

Christian is still silent; Elliot turns to him, "Ana is one hell of a woman Christian don't ever let her go" Christian nods but still says nothing.

Elliot looks at me "Thank you Ana, you saved Kate's life, not to mention ours that sadistic bastard was going to kill us all, he didn't care he was totally insane", my daughters still have a mother and father because of you". With that he stands, "I'll leave you two alone", he gives me a quick peck on the cheek and leaves the room.

Christian turns his head to me "and thank you for saving my life" he says.

I look hard at him and remember what he said to me earlier I say his own words back to him "You are very welcome Mr Grey, but no more heroics eh! You also have a family to consider, you need to realise you are needed, I don't want Alexander growing up with only pictures of his father, and how do you think the others would feel had something happened to you, and besides I couldn't live without you" I place a small kiss on his lips.

Christian pulls me into his arms and winces at the pain in his shoulder "I know, you just want to protect everyone you love, I above anyone can understand that, but you have to stop putting yourself in danger!"

"That's rich coming from you" I snort "You are the one with the gun shot wound"

I snuggle closer to him. Suddenly he stills, and I gaze up into his face, "Whats wrong?" I ask

"Do you remember what I told you the last time you pulled a stunt like that?"

"No" I reply.

"I told you I would take you across my knee and spank you – don't forget your stepfather gave me permission to do so!" I recognise that tone of voice and something stirs inside me.

I lean up and plant a small kiss on his lip "is that a promise Mr Grey" I murmur bravely

Christian turns and with a groan his mouth is on mine, and he is kissing me fiercely, when he releases me we are both out of breath, "Oh yes!" he replies and kisses me again, "Just wait till I get you home!"

We are sitting in the waiting room for Kate to come out of surgery. Elliot is pacing and Christian is sitting quietly, his shoulder bandaged heavily.

The door opens and we all stand "Katherine Grey" Elliot whispers, Christian puts his hand on Elliot's shoulder.

The doctor looks around "You are next of kin?" he asks

Elliot steps forward "I am her husband; this is my brother and my sister in law"

The doctor nods, "Katherine has sustained 3 broken ribs and a collapsed lung, but apart from that her other wounds are superficial, she is a very lucky lady, it could have been much worse.

"What about the baby?" Elliot whispers

There is a pause, the doctor puts his hand out and touches Elliot's arm, "I'm sorry" he says It looks as though she sustained several blows to the stomach area, and I'm afraid she miscarried whilst in theatre.

"No" I cry my hand flying to my mouth.

Elliot sinks to his knees and weeps bitterly.

"Thank you doctor" Christian says his voice cracking.

"I'm very sorry Mr Grey" the doctor says to Elliot and leaves the room.

We are sitting around Kate's bed, she has been crying. Elliot is holding her hand. I am the other side holding her other hand, we are all silent Christian stands in the corner, the door opens and Grace enters.

She moves over to Kate and gently embraces her.

"I'm so sorry Kate" she whispers, Kate nods but says nothing.

She turns to me and gently pulls me to my feet and embraces me "Thank you Ana, our family was blessed the day you joined it, you have saved all my children one way or another" she glances at Christian, and shakes her head, "and you have saved Christian twice over" she whispers in my ear so only I can hear.

Then she turns to Elliot and presses a small kiss in his hair, she moves to the back of the room and murmurs something to Christian, she leaves the room and he follows.

"I'll be back in minute" I say to Kate and make my way over to the door, I look outside and Grace is berating Christian for his irresponsible behaviour.

I can't stand by and let my husband be chastised like this without taking some of the blame; I walk towards Christian, and grasp his hand. "Please Grace" I say, "Jack was insane, if the police had been called he would have killed her. He was just trying to protect everyone " .

"By almost getting himself killed" she is shaking with both anger and anguish, she shakes her head, "What were you thinking Christian, if you had been killed, you have four children who would have been left without a father" she wraps her arms around him, he winces and puts his good arm around her.

"I'm sorry mom" he mutters

"Don't you ever do anything that stupid again do you understand me" she glares up at him

"Grace, please" I beg

Grace turns to me and holds me close again, "Oh Ana" she sighs

She takes a deep breath and takes my arm, "I'm going now, Carrick and Mia are with the children, tell Elliot Ava and Zoe are asking for him, he needs to go to them" she looks at Christian, "Your children have been asking for you as well, especially Izzy".

"I'll go and tell Elliot" and I leave Grace with Christian once more.

"Elliot, your mom said Ava and Zoe are asking for you, go with Christian he is going home now, I'll stay with Kate".

Elliot nods and kisses Kate's cheek before leaving the room. As soon as he has gone Kate looks at me and tears well up in her eyes, "I feel so guilty, I was thinking about terminating the pregnancy, until..." she stops "and now..."

I sit on the edge of the bed and gently rock her.

"Forgive yourself Kate, your circumstances were totally different this morning, you were a single mother, divorcing your husband"

Kate nods "Elliot and I are going to try again and get over this, he has promised me it's over and it meant nothing and that it will never happen again" she pauses and looks me straight in the eye "I envy you Ana, what you and Christian have, yes he is controlling and irritatingly over protective but he adores you, he would never hurt you in that way and he is a wonderful father it is so moving the way he is with the children".

I nod, "I know" I whisper.

The door opens and Christian enters the room, "Are you coming home?" he asks me, he is so quiet and withdrawn I am afraid wondering what is going through his mind"

I look at Kate, torn, I want to find out what's eating Christian but I don't want to leave my dear friend. Kate makes the decision for me "I am really tired Ana, go home, I am going to get some sleep"

"Are you sure?" I reply she nods and smiles, I kiss her forehead, "I'll see you tomorrow" I promise, and I help her settle down, she closes her eyes, I give her hand one final squeeze "Goodnight Kate" I say.

"Goodnight Ana" she replies.

Taylor is driving us all home the silence in the car is deafening, Christian is running his thumb over my knuckles and refuses to let me go, he hasn't said a word, but something tells me he's not angry, at least I don't think he is, but the way he is behaving is unnerving me. Elliot is sitting with his head in his hands and lost in his own thoughts.

We arrive home and walk hand in hand in silence into the house. Elliot runs in, in front of us and races straight upstairs to his daughters. Carrick greets us, he embraces me warmly but the look he gives Christian makes me shiver, he shakes his head and folds Christian into his arms he has tears in his eyes, I am astounded I have never seen Carrick so emotional. Mia is dozing on the sofa I wake her gently and she flings her arms around my neck.

"Oh Ana" she gasps, "we have all been worried sick, you all disappeared then Sawyer came back – its been just horrible"

"We are all ok" I whisper, "Kate is in the hospital but she is stable, Christian got shot in the shoulder but he's fine, and Elliot was unhurt" I pause and snort "and I shot jack again, just for a change - in the arm this time".

I suddenly have an overwhelming urge to laugh, Mia looks at me in surprise, as I sink on to the sofa and give way to hysterical laughter. Christian and Carrick walk in and stare at me, but I can't stop, the absurdity of the day, has finally got to me, and this is my release. I hear running and the next thing the door flies open and Ted, Phoebe and Isobel appear, they too stare at me as I try to pull myself together, I hold my arms out and they all run to me. Isobel soon leaves me and runs to Christian holding her arms up to be picked up, I gently lift her on to Christians good arm, "Careful with daddy, he has a poorly shoulder" I say to her.

She looks at Christians bandaged shoulder leans across and places a gentle kiss on it "Kiss better daddy!" she says and it is his undoing, tears well in his eyes and he looks anxiously at me.

"Come on gang bed time" I say and try and lift Isobel from Christian's arms but she clings to him refusing to move. Christian takes her upstairs and I follow.

When we return downstairs Mia approaches us, "We are going now" she says, "Alexander was fed and changed about an hour ago, so you can work out when he will wake again, I'll get back so I can tell Ethan Kate is safe, he went home earlier"

I nod "Thank you Mia" I smile at her, and with that Carrick and Mia take their leave.

I go in search of Christian. I find him standing by Alexander's crib, staring at his sleeping son – quietly I look at him and see he is crying, I wrap my arm around his waist and he turns to me, "come to bed with me" he whispers and i nod.

We lie together, and Christian is snuggled close, I am gently stroking his arm as it is wrapped around me.

"I thought I was going to die" he says suddenly, I freeze. "We got up there and Kate was tied up on the floor, Elliot was just going to untie her when he walked in, he started shouting and shooting at the same time, he was just deranged, he got me in the shoulder and then ran off, Elliot and Taylor ran after him, then you arrived with Luke, I thought I was seeing things, but then he appeared behind you I thought he was going to shoot you and there was nothing I could do, but you got there first...you are an amazing woman Anastasia Grey, and you are my amazing woman, I love you so much, and I promise you no more heroics, do you promise too?

"I promise" I say solemnly "I love you too Christian always!"

The atmosphere between us heavy, I need to lighten the mood, I roll over so I am facing Christian and smile at him, "We are home now" I say cryptically. He frowns, not understanding what I am talking about.

"I believe you were going to spank me when you got me home" I say

His face lights up, but then he pauses, "Can we take a rain check on that one, my shoulder is aching, but I am up for a bit of good old vanilla" he looks hopefully at me.

"Your wish is my command" I say.


	11. Chapter 11

CHAPTER ELEVEN

I am sitting with Kate at the hospital, Elliot is spending some quality time with his daughters and Christian is doing the same with our children. There is a knock at the door, and Det. Clarke enters the room.

"Mrs Grey" he nods at me and I return with a nod and weak smile, Christian and I have already given our statements to him, so he must be here to speak to Kate, I grasp her hand tightly.

"May I sit down?" he gestures to the empty seat, we both nod and he sits down with a sigh. "Mrs Grey" he says gently as he looks at Kate, "I am going to have to ask you about the events of yesterday, if you feel up to it?", Kate nods.

"Do you want me to stay Kate?" I whisper, she nods at me. "That is ok, isn't it Detective?"

He smiles "Sure" he replies.

Kate starts to talk, the car journey to work, the way Jack ran her off the road, his sadistic beatings, even when she pleaded with him to stop because she was pregnant, and how he just laughed and kicked her again. I close my eyes and shiver, never letting go of Kate's hand.  
When she has finished speaking, Det Clarke looks grim and shakes his head, "He should never have been let out at all let alone early" he says almost to himself.

"Where is Jack?" I ask

"He was here until last night; after he was patched up he was taken straight back into custody, as he broke the terms of his parole". I doubt he will be released again though he was behaving very erratically and there was some concern about his mental state so an application has been made to send him to a psychiatric unit" Det Clarke pauses "Well I think that will be all, Mr Welch has passed on the recording of the telephone conversation between you and Mr Hyde yesterday, and we have CCTV footage of him causing the road accident, along with the reports of his behaviour yesterday I don't think we have much trouble convincing the judge he has some serious mental issues, so I think that's all thank you ladies" and with that he gets up and leaves.

A few moments later the door opens again and Elliot appears with Ava and Zoe, "Mommy" they both cry and run to her, Kates face lights up and she holds her arms wide open, I smile at Elliot and discreetly leave them to it.

Sawyer is waiting outside for me, "Ready Mrs Grey?" he asks, I nod and follow him out to the car. I feel a little uncomfortable on the drive back after the previous days events, I glance up at Sawyer and decide I should clear the air.

"I was so pleased to see you yesterday, when you arrived at Escala" I say

Sawyer just nods and smiles.

"When did you realise what was happening?" I ask tentatively

"T briefed me before he left with Mr Grey, and then I saw you leaving a few minutes later I realised you must be going to try and help, and...well, it's my job to protect you Mrs Grey" He shrugs

"I'm sorry, I don't make your job very easy at times do I?" I say apologetically

"It can be interesting at times Ma'am" Sawyer says wryly

We both laugh. I have become quite fond of Sawyer over the years.

We arrive home and Christian is in the meadow with the children, they are running and laughing in a carefree manner, every so often Christian winces as he shoulder pains him, I watch them from a distance until Christian glances my way and spots me watching, he says something to the children and points at me.

"MOMMY!" They all shout as one and run towards me, I hold open my arms and they run into them.

"Hi" I smile at Christian

"Hi" he answers, how's Kate?"

"Improving" I say, "Detective Clarke arrived while I was there"

Christian nods but says nothing, changing the subject he says "what would you like to do then on this beautiful Saturday?"

"I don't know" I say

The children spot Gail and happily run to her, leaving me and Christian alone, we walk back to the house hand in hand. Moments later Carrick and Grace arrive. Christian frowns and strides quickly towards the car, keeping a tight grip on my hand.

"Mom, dad, is something wrong?" Christian says surprised by another visit so soon.

"Hello Darling" Grace says and kisses his cheek and then gives me a hug, "Your father and I would like to take the children out for the day, if that's alright with you?"

"Oh course it is, Ryan and Prescott will accompany you" Christian smiles

About 20 minutes later we are waving Ted, Phoebe and Isobel away followed by Ryan and Prescott in the SUV.

"Well its just us now Mrs Grey what are we going to do?" Christian says, his eyes blazing

"We are not totally alone, Alexander is still here" I remind him

"But he's asleep", Christian murmurs in my ear, desire shoots through my body.

"Hmm" I look up at Christian, "we could always revisit that rain check!"I say

The desire in his eyes is scorching; he grabs my hand and practically drags me into the house.

A couple of hours later we are both sitting in the bath, relaxing. "We don't get to do this very often nowadays" Christian complains

"What do you expect, we have a family, and work commitments" I reply I turn and face him "It makes it all the more special when we do do it" I place a small kiss on his lips and he immediately deepens it.

We are disturbed by Christians Blackberry buzzing, he glances over to the shelf and curses, he reaches over and glances at the screen, he frowns.  
"It's Elliot" he says, he answers with an abrupt "What do you want Elliot?" he is clearly miffed that our special time has been interrupted.  
He listens and his mouth drops open, "You fucking idiot!" he spits down the phone and shakes his head, "Does Kate know yet?" he adds, "Well you have to tell her...you have really blown it this time, what were you thinking...of course its going to destroy her especially now, yes, yes" he glances at me "yes I'll ask her, you have monumentally fucked up Elliot, you do realise that don't you, yes bye" he hangs up and rubs his forehead, before shaking his head and tossing his Blackberry onto the shelf.

"What's he done now?" I ask tentatively

Christian pulls me closer and sighs, "would you mind going to the hospital later, as I think Kate is going to need you shortly" he says into my hair.

"Whats happened Christian?" I ask again

He pauses, "My idiot brother has only knocked up the whore he has been fucking" I am so shocked by his bitterness and derogatory terminology it takes me a moment to process what he has said, when it hits me, my hand shoots to my mouth and I gasp.

"Oh poor Kate, this is going to destroy her completely, especially now"

"Even Elliot realises this, which is why he called, he is going to tell her, and I think he want you to deal with the fall out" he looks at me.

"Christian, I have to go to her" he nods and reluctantly climbs out of the bath.

Things seem to happen in a hurry, I am just about to leave for the hospital when a car pulls into the driveway, it's Elliot, he looks at me sheepishly as he climbs from the car. I glare at him unable to speak, the anger is welling up inside me, so I just walk past him and climb into the car, where Sawyer is waiting for me. When I arrive at the hospital I am shocked to see Kate out of bed, dressed and wearing a steely glare of determination.

"Kate, what are you doing?" I ask

"The doctors say I am well enough to go home, I just have to take it easy for a while, Ana would you mind running me home please...my home?"

"Sure" I say, I am not going to question her at the moment, she looks like a woman on a mission, and I am just going to tag along and wait for her to talk.

"Where are the girls?" I ask, Elliot was alone when he arrived at our house and there is no sign of them around the hospital.

"Carrick and Grace have taken them out, they came in this morning with your brood and offered to take the girls as well, I think they want to give us both time alone with our husbands" she sounds vaguely bitter. I just nod and touch her hand.

"Don't Ana" she says sharply, "I need a clear head and if you do that I am just going to crumble" she looks at me the hurt is evident in her eyes.

"I'm sorry, but I'm here when you do want to talk ok?" I say and take a step back from her.

She nods and mouths "thank you". She takes a deep breath and then smiles and says a little too brightly "Ok then ready?"

I nod, grasp her bag and follow her out of the door, Sawyer takes Kate's bag from me and looks questioningly at me.

"Would you mind take us to Kate's place please?" I ask

"Certainly Ma'am" he replies and holds the door open for us.

I am watching open mouthed as Kate is systematically going through all the drawers and removing all Elliot's belongings, she looks at me, she is breathing heavily.

"Let me help you" I say, "Just wait and I'll get Sawyer to help too, you have to take it easy". I leave the room and call Christian, I am worried.

"Ana" he says after one ring.

"Christian is Elliot with you still?" I ask

"Yes" he replies

"Kate is a woman possessed she is clearing all his stuff out, she's scaring me"

"Can you blame her? "

"No but ..." I stop Christian sounds so detached, why is he taking this so badly?

"Do you want me to send Taylor to help?" he asks suddenly

"Please, that would be a big help, Kate needs to take it easy and there is only me and Luke here" I am relived another pair of hands is going to arrive.

When Taylor arrives, all Elliot's belongings are in a heap in the hallway and Kate is on the phone to a locksmith. Taylor raises his eyebrows as he looks at the pile of things on the floor, we bend and start to cram everything into rubbish bags. Kate has finished on the phone and comes to help.

Taylor looks at Kate sympathetically "Do you want me to take these to Mr Grey Ma'am?" he says

"No" she replies "he can fetch them himself if he wants them, put them outside" "Please" she adds quickly.

"Yes ma'am" Taylor replies and looks at me.

I wonder what we must look like, Taylor, Sawyer and I walking outside with armfuls of rubbish bags and dumping them at the side of the house.  
The locksmith arrives and quickly sets to work changing all the locks on the house. Kate is sitting and looks deep in thought; she picks up her mobile and dials a number.

"Hi Grace" she says brightly, "Listen would you mind bringing the girls back to my place please, I am home from the hospital now...yes...yes I am, thank you Grace I appreciate it, see you in a while, thanks bye"

I had made a mental note of the fact she had said my house, and wondered if Grace had picked up on that, or whether she thought everything was alright, I felt so sorry for Grace, if she didn't know already she would soon find out about Elliot's disgrace, I sit down next to Kate and look hard at her. We are disturbed by the locksmith who pokes his head around the door.

"All done ma'am" he says, he holds out a key ring with four keys on it neatly labelled as to what each one opened. Kate took them from him and nodded.

"Thank you" she said quietly, she stands and reaches for her purse and leaves the room. A few minutes later she returns, "well that's that, all paid for and the house is now secure", as she says this something attracts her attention at the window, I look and see Carrick and Grace pulling up outside, Grace steps from the car and frowns at the pile of bags at the side of the house, Ava and Zoe leap from the car and run to the front door, my children are nowhere to be seen, and neither are Ryan and Prescott so I assume they have all gone home. Kate lets Grace and Carrick in, Ava and Zoe run to their mother and hug her tightly, they spot me sitting like a spare part on the sofa, "Hi Aunty Ana" says Ava smiling brightly.

"Hi sweetheart, did you have a good time?" I ask, she nods

"Ted, Pheebs and Izzy have already gone home" she says, she looks around "Where's daddy?" she asks.

Kate stiffens, "he's with Uncle Christian at the moment" she says shortly, Grace looks at her and frowns, she glances at me and then she turns to Ava and Zoe.

"Why don't you two go upstairs and have a wash and get changed, you must be grimy after today".

They nod and disappear, Grace looks hard at Kate and then at me, "What's going on?" she asks.

Kate starts to tremble and Grace moves swiftly towards her, "Kate, what's he done?" she asks again a little more forcefully. Carrick enters the room and takes a second to assess the situation; he moves quietly to the sofa and sits down.

Grace guides Kate towards me and lowers her on to the sofa beside me and then sits down the other side, we are all staring at Kate waiting for her to speak. I know what she is going to say, but it's not my place to say anything. Kate looks pleadingly at me and nods. Great, she wants me to tell them.

I sit looking at my knotted fingers on my lap, I really don't want to do this "The woman Elliot has been having an affair with is pregnant" I say in a rush, Kate collapses in tears and Grace pulls her towards her and rocks her gently like a baby. Carrick looks thunderstruck, the anger on his face is quite unnerving, "Where is he?" he hisses.

"With Christian I think" I mutter, Carrick stands and leaves the room; I glance out of the window and see him roaring off down the drive. I sigh, I wouldn't want to be Elliot when his dad catches up with him. I turn back to Grace and Kate. Grace looks shell shocked.

"The stupid fool" she keeps repeating over and over.

Kate suddenly lifts her head and Grace releases her, she takes a huge sniff and sighs, Grace and I look at each other holding our breath, wondering what is going to happen next.

"I have thrown him out" she says simply to Grace, who nods back at her. "Those bags outside are all his belongings and I've changed the locks" she adds. "I am proceeding with the divorce but changing my terms, I want this house, and maintenance for the girls, apart from that he can go to hell" she says firmly. She turns to me, "Thank you for putting us up Ana" she says "but I am ready to come home now".

"OK, and you are welcome" I say not sure what I can say to that.

Kate stands, and turns to Grace "Thank you for taking the girls out today, but if you will excuse me I have things to do now" I look at Grace and she shrugs at me.

"Alright dear" she says, "we will leave you in peace, but don't hesitate to call us if you need anything" she looks hard at Kate, who smiles

"Thank you, I will", she says.

We leave the house; I'm worried and voice my fears to Grace as we climb into the car. Grace nods and we drive home in silence. Carrick and Elliot are in Christians study with the door shut when we arrive, muffled voices are radiating through the door. Christian is nowhere to be seen, Grace takes a deep breath and opens the door to Christians study and goes in shutting the door behind her, I run upstairs searching for my husband, Christian is playing with the children in their huge nursery, he smiles as I walk in.

"What's happening?" I ask, as Christian rises to his feet.

"I'll be back in minute gang ok, I need to talk to mommy about something" he says, he ushers me out of the room and closes the door.

"I have no idea, dad arrived looking like a bear with a bee up his ass and he's been talking to Elliot ever since he arrived, how's Kate?"

"Scary" I say, "she has completely shut down, she has cleared all his stuff out and changed the locks, he is going to have a shock when he tries to go home tonight, and she is proceeding with the divorce" I pause and gesture to his study "Oh and Grace came back with me and she is in your study now as well".  
Christian nods "Well, he deserves everything he gets from them, Kate has never been my favourite person in the world but you can't blame her, Elliot has seriously crossed a line he deserves everything he gets from her as well, and if he thinks he's staying here he has another think coming".

My mouth drops open, I didn't want Elliot here either but I was shocked at Christian's response. I look at him and wrap my arms around his waist.

"What's wrong Christian" I ask tentatively

He sighs, "I can't believe what he did, I know he was always a bit of playboy screwing around but I thought that was all finished when he married Kate, I'm just disgusted with him, and I'm worried about the effect its going to have on you"

"Me?" I say surprised

"Yes, Kate is your best friend, Elliot is my brother, we are going to get stuck in the middle if we are not careful, so I am disowning him so that doesn't happen, Kate is going to need your support, but I won't have Elliot using you as a go between" he pulls me closer.

"Oh Christian" I say. He is always thinking of me, and the fact he is prepared to cut off his family for me makes me realise the depth of the love he has for me.

He suddenly looks determined and he looks at me and reaches in his pocket for his Blackberry. He punches in a number. "Kate, it's Christian", his voice is clipped and businesslike "yes she's here now, no, that's fine, listen to me ...my lawyers are at your disposal, no not at all its the least I can do, you are Ana's friend, and my brother has crossed a line, you need anything you call do you understand? right...yes, no he won't be staying here...you are welcome, anything you need do you understand...yes, good goodbye Kate" he hangs up. Then without as much as a word he stalks downstairs and strides into his study, I watch from the stairs my mouth open as Christian, orders Elliot out of the house, I am shocked he is so cold and callous. Grace and Elliot is dumbfounded. Carrick and Grace follow Christian out of the study as shocked as I am. Carrick tries to reason with Christian.

"NO! He shouts, "I will not have my home used like a United Nations negotiation room, I no longer have a brother, he has crossed a line, and I don't want him anywhere near me or my family"

Elliot slowly turns and leaves, he looks a broken man, Grace moves towards Christian and embraces him, she whispers something in his ear and he glances up towards me and then nods. Grace rubs his arm and then they are gone. Christian turns and comes towards me.

"What did Grace say?" I ask

"She told me to look after you and not to hurt you the way Elliot has hurt Kate" he says "But I wouldn't Ana I would never ever cheat on you, you are my life you are my reason for existing, I need you more than I need air to breathe" He holds me close and squeezes me tightly.

"Right back at you" I whisper, just then the nursery door opens and three small faces peep out, Christian smiles and beckons them closer

"Group hug" shouts Ted, at that moment Alexander starts to cry we all go into him and I lift him from his crib, I look around, my husband and my children, my little family, my mind suddenly remembers our little lost baby, Matthew, I gaze down at Alex and then across at Christian  
"Come here" I say "lets have that group hug!"


	12. Chapter 12

**Thank you for all the feedback I am getting I know I can't please everyone, but please bare with this latest twist, I believe it is exactly the way Christian would react, when you read how he has behaved in the past, but I will just say, carry on reading as things will become clear in the end. Thank you all for reading my story and for all the positive comments I have received. ( I do not own Fifty Shades)**

CHAPTER TWELVE

A month has passed things have been returning to normal, I am back at work, all be it part time, Christian is busy doing what he does best, and being master of the universe. We have heard nothing from Elliot since the day Christian threw him out. He has not had a good month, he accepted Kate's terms and moved into a small flat. When Ethan found out about the baby, he was distraught and wanted kill Elliot, if it wasn't for Mia and Christian he probably would have done. Kate is still distant, I don't think she wants to put us in the middle, she took up Christian's offer of use of his legal team and I have my suspicions he paid all the legal bills as well. Carrick and Grace still see Elliot but its hard for them, Christian refuses to go to any event they host if his brother is going to be there, so as a result Elliot has put himself into a self imposed exile.

I am at work, I have had meetings after meetings and its seems like its been like this for the past couple of weeks, we have a new book launch coming up shortly and it is predicted to be a best seller. It's lunchtime and I suddenly have an overwhelming urge to see Christian, I have never felt like this before and wonder what has come over me, I decide to act on it and grab my purse and head towards reception, "I'm off to lunch" I call to Hannah as i leave, she raises her hand to me.

Sawyer leaps to his feet as I enter reception, "Can you take me to Grey House please?" I ask

"Certainly Ma'am" he says

We arrive at Grey House and I march in and up to Christian's office. Andrea's mouth drops open when she sees me, "Mrs Grey, we weren't expecting you" she looks flustered which is unusual, Andrea is supremely efficient and rarely gets caught on the hop.

I smile, "I was just passing" I say lamely I am kicking myself now for my impulsive whim, I bet Christian has someone with him and will be too busy to see me. So I am shocked when she smiles and says "Well he is alone in his office if you want to go through" I smile back and head towards Christians office door, and open it without knocking.

He is sitting at his desk peering at a computer screen; he is talking on the phone and sounds irritated. He looks up angrily at the interruption and nearly drops the phone when he sees me standing there, his face softens immediately. "Look, that's not acceptable, sort it and get back to me when it's done" he snarls down the phone and then hangs up.

In one fluid movement he rises from his chair and is heading towards me an anxious look on his face. "What's wrong?" he asks as he pulls me into his arms

"Nothing, I just thought I'd surprise you and invite you out for lunch" I say, he pauses and glances at his computer, "but its ok if you are too busy" I add quickly "I should have called first" I am blushing and turn to leave, Christian grabs my arm and pulls me back towards him.

"No baby, it's a lovely surprise, just wait a moment" he picks up the phone "Andrea what time is my next appointment?...I see" he glances at his watch, "hold my calls, I am going to lunch with my wife, I will be back for my 2.30 appointment" he hangs up.

He grabs his jacket and holds his hand out which I take smiling brightly and we leave the office.

We are sitting in a small Bistro, chatting I feel the stress leaving me, its amazing what being with Christian does for my mood. I broach a subject I have been thinking about for a while.

"Christian"

"Yes baby"

"It's our wedding anniversary next month" I say

"and?" he replies smirking at me

I slap his hand, "I'd like to do something ...as a family, just us and the children" I look anxiously at him

"Sure, we will do whatever you want" he replies

I take a deep breath, "Can we go away for a few days?"

"Sure" he replies absentmindedly

"Can we go abroad?" I ask tentatively, Christian's eyes shoot up to mine

"Abroad?" he repeats, "Where?"

"England" I whisper and wait

"England? Why?" he looks confused

"Well I know its a big ask to fly across the other side of the world for a few days but I have been talking to a publishing house in England and they want to publish Boyce's novels in the UK, and I wanted to go and have a look personally and I thought I'd like you to come with me as you will be able to see things I would probably miss and well, its where we spent our honeymoon so we could have a bit of a holiday as well and show the children the things we saw when we were on honeymoon there"

I wait hardly daring to look at Christian, who is thinking about what I have said.

"Sure, sounds a great idea, I will sort it"

My mouth drops open "Well that was easy" I say dumbfounded

Christian smiles at me and grasps my hand "Mrs Grey, it is my mission in life to make you happy, and besides it sounds like it could be a very profitable venture".

My lunch break ends all too quickly and I return to my office, I am still reeling over Christians easy acceptance of my idea to travel to England, when my phone rings, "Ana Grey" I say

"Ana, its me, please don't hang up" its Elliot I nearly expire on the spot. He sounds so miserable I start to feel sorry for him, then I remember what he has done to my best friend.

"What do you want Elliot" I say, trying to sound harsh, and failing miserably.

"Just to talk...please Ana" he pleads

"Ok" I say thawing a little.

"Can I come and see you? At work obviously, I don't think Christian will be very impressed if I turned up at your home!"

I try to imagine Christians reaction knowing he is on the phone at this moment, and an involuntary shiver runs through me, I pause "OK" I say finally, Christian is going to freak but I am secretly curious as to what he has to say, and I have to say I am slightly uncomfortable about Christian's callous decision about cutting him off. I had tried to reason with him when did it, but he wouldn't be moved, I tried to say I didn't want to come between him and his brother, and I still shudder as I remember the look he gave me and the chilling way he said "I have no brother, he was never a blood relative, we were both adopted – remember, now he is nothing" and that was it no discussion subject closed.

I am pulled from my thoughts as Elliot says "Can I come now... if you are not too busy?"

I quickly mentally run through my afternoon schedule and realise there is nothing I can't put off "Alright" I say.

About 20 minutes later my phone rings, its Clare on reception, "Mr Grey is here to see you" she says

"Thank you, Clare, send him up" I brace myself

As Elliot enters the room, I see Sawyer hovering behind him, I stand to go out to him.

"Please Luke don't tell Taylor he's here, he will tell Christian and I don't want a scene, i just want to hear what he has to say, its not like he's going to hurt me, he's Christians brother for gods sake!"

Sawyer nods but I can see he feels uncomfortable about it, I sigh, I wish all the unpleasantness would just go away. Elliot appears and I am shocked, he looks terrible, he has lost weight, a lot of weight and his eyes have lost that bright twinkle they always had. He looks gaunt and ill.

"Thank you for seeing me Ana, and I'm sorry to do this to you, but I don't know what else to do"

I lead Elliot into my office and close the door, I phone Hannah and ask her to take my calls. I take a deep breath and look Elliot in the eye and wait.

He sighs, "I don't think the baby is mine" he says

Oh, I wasn't expecting that, I look at him and frown, "What do you expect me to do about it?" I ask confused and slightly irritated.

Elliot looks at me, "Under normal circumstances, I would have gone to Christian for advice, and got him to run checks and do a little digging, but obviously the way things are, well..."

I nod, "What makes you think things aren't right?" I ask  
He relaxes slightly and continues, "I don't know call it a hunch, things just don't add up, the dates don't add up to start with, and other little things she has said and done, i can't help thinking it the Grey name she has gone for, I mean I am no where near as wealthy as Christian" he snorts "very few people are, but I have my own building business and I'm not short of a bob or two" he stops

"What's she like, what's her name?" I ask intrigued

"Susan" he says, "well she calls herself Suzi so I assume its Susan or Susannah"

I freeze oh my god no I think.

"What does she look like?" I ask and hold my breath.

"Erm, small, slim, brunette, actually she looks a bit like you, but not really if you get what I mean"

My heart sinks, I know exactly who it is "Don't worry Elliot I'll talk to Christian I can't promise anything but I will do my best" I say

"Thanks Ana, you're the greatest, he listens to you" he gets up looking a lot more hopeful, I walk towards him and he gives me a quick hug and a peck on the cheek. He smiles at me as he leaves.

I sit down, reeling, Oh shit what the hell!

I grab my Blackberry and call Christian, trying to work out in my mind what I am going to say. He answers on the second ring"

"Ana" he purrs in that way which makes me go weak.

"Christian something has happened, I need to talk to you now" I blurt

"What's wrong, is it the children.." he is panicking I can picture him running his hands through his hair.

"The children are fine" I assure him, "I don't want to talk about this over the phone, but it is urgent and I'm worried"

"Don't worry baby, whatever it is we can sort it, I'm on my way" he hangs up and I sit staring at the phone.

About 15 minutes later Christian strides into my office looking anxious and closes the door, as I stand he is pulling me into his arms, he sits in the chair in front of my desk and pulls me into his lap.

"Well?" he asks, he is radiating anxiety and tension.

"First of all I want you to promise me you are not going to over react" I say

He tenses, "Ana just talk" he snaps.

Oh god this is not going to be fun.

"Elliot came to see me this morning" I pause and wait for the explosion, but it doesn't come, he is staring at me impassively, his eyes are icy – he is controlling his temper but I can feel he is angry.

I sigh, and continue, "He doesn't think the baby is his, he needs our, well your help to do a bit of digging, on the girl..." I pause "but I think you won't have to do that, I think you know her Christian"

He frowns "what exactly are you trying to tell me Ana?" he asks in that clipped tone which tells me he is burning with rage but controlling it.

"I asked Elliot what the girl was like, he said she looked like me, and I asked him what her name was and he said she called herself Suzi"

"What?!" The colour drains from Christian face he pushes me off his knee and stands running both hands through his hair, he pauses and pulls his Blackberry from his pocket and dials.

"Elliot, Christian, meet me in (he glances at his watch) 30 minutes at Grey House, yes ...fine, goodbye"

He stares at me, worry is written all over my face, and his suddenly relaxes and his face softens as he smiles at me, "Its ok baby, I'll sort it" and with that he is gone.


	13. Chapter 13

**Thank you for all the comments and for continuing to read my story, I have said I will not give away what will happen next but I want to everyone to rest assured that Christian ****IS NOT**** the father of Suzi's baby, and will NEVER cheat on Ana.**

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

I cannot rest or concentrate on my work, I keep thinking over and over about Christian's reaction to what I told him, he has never told his family about his lifestyle before me and as far as they know I was his first girlfriend. I try to concentrate on my work but after about an hour I can't stand it any more, I gather up the pile of paperwork I am trying to do and leave the office, "I am working from home Hannah" I say as I leave.

"Sure, no problem" she answers.

I go out to the reception and Sawyer jumps up, "Going home Ma'am?" he asks.

I nod, then stop, "Actually no, would you take me to Grey House again please?" I ask

Sawyer hesitates, then nods.

We arrive and as we are waiting at the lights to turn into the car park I see a cab pull up outside and a small slight brunette climb out, I go cold, its Susannah, I remember her from when she came with Leila to see me, years ago. I can't control myself and leap out of the car leaving Sawyer panic stricken. I run towards her.

"Susannah!" I call and she spins around and stares at me, then recognition spreads over her face

"Is that you, Mrs Grey?" she asks hesitantly.

I nod, "May I speak to you before you go in?" I ask.

She nods at me, I glance around to see Sawyer speeding into the car park, with a face like thunder, I grab her by the elbow. "Come with me, we don't have long" I whisper to her.

I lead her to a small cafe nearby. She looks frightened, I think she wonders what the hell I am doing, I am wondering what the hell I am doing. As soon as we are inside its almost as if a dam breaks inside her and she blurts out "Look I don't want to cause any trouble, I didn't know Elliot was Mr Grey's brother, I didn't know he was married, honestly, please believe me, as soon as I found out I tried to end it but he wouldn't leave me alone so I lied to him telling him different dates and stuff so he wouldn't think it was his baby after all, honestly Mrs Grey I ...just want all this to go away" She starts to sob.

I wasn't expecting that, I stand and pull her towards me and comfort her. I look up and see Christian and Taylor looking at me, I glare at him trying to warning him not to bully her.

"Susannah" he says, immediately she looks up at him, "yes sir" she whispers, she is terrified of him, of what he is going to say .

"I heard what you just said, will you come with me and we can talk about this, with Elliot?" she hesitates and grips my hand like a small child.

"I'm coming with her", I say staring straight at Christian with a - don't you dare say no look on my face, he sighs deeply and nods.

I help Susannah to her feet and lead her sobbing out of the cafe in to Grey House, by a side entrance. Once we are in Christians office, Taylor slips from the room and there we are Christian, Elliot one side of the table and Susannah and myself the other.

"Would you like something to drink? He asks her kindly, she looks up with a surprised look on her face, good god is this the first time he has spoken to her in a reasonable way.

"Yes please sir" she stammers.

We sit and talk everything through, she produces hospital documentation and scan pictures of her baby, which prove to a point that Elliot is the father. She is pale and trembling, Elliot scowls at her, I see the look and anger courses through me and I can't control myself "Don't you dare look at her like that, I hiss my hands fisting on the table, you are as much to blame for this mess, more if you want my opinion, as you knew you were married, a fact you conveniently failed to mention to her and you should not have crossed that line, you cheated on your wife Elliot how low is that?"

Elliot visibly recoils he is shocked, I am sure he had heard worse from Christian and his father, but hearing it from me shocked him to the core.

"ANA" Christian shouts sharply.

My head snaps round to face him I am still seething, "WHAT!" I shout back.

"Calm down" he says in a quieter tone. He runs his hands through his hair, he is totally out of his depth and doesn't know what to say. so  
I take charge of the situation, "Susannah, what do _you_ want to do?" I ask her kindly

"She.." Elliot starts I put my hand up and glare at him with such ferocity he stops immediately.

"I can't get rid of it, I'm sorry but I can't" she sobs, placing a protective hand on her stomach

"Nobody is telling you you have to" I say

"He did" she whispers looking at Elliot, I feel sick, how could he do that. At this moment I hate him and Christian is looking at him in disgust.

"Well if you want this baby, then that is your right" i say. "What do you want?" I ask again.

"i want to keep my baby, but I want nothing to do with him, he lied to me, he told me he was separated, as soon as I realised who he was and that he was married with children, I tried to end it, I really did, but he wouldn't leave me alone he kept coming to me I tried to walk away I really did" she is sobbing again.

"Susannah, do you have ... will you manage on your own?" Christian says gently, he is picking his words carefully, so not to distress her any further. He looks as though he is hurting.

I can see what is going through his mind, a young mother with a baby which wasn't planned it is hitting a little bit too close to home for him.

She nods, "my mom said she will help me take care of the baby, while I am working all day – she runs a day care centre"

Christian nods, "Do you want Elliot to have contact?" he asks

She thinks for a moment, "only if he wants to, I don't want him flitting in and out of my baby's life, my dad did that to me and its not fun waiting for your dad to arrive and he never shows up".

Christian nods, and then he looks uncomfortable "Do you...do you ...do you...want Elliot to contribute financially toward the baby?"

She looks straight a Christian and pulls herself up, "I'm not a gold digger" she says with pride in her voice

I squeeze her hand, "he wasn't suggesting you are, he was just checking you could cope financially, that's all" I say to her

"I'm sorry, well...I would really, I have spent all my savings on my hospital fees up to now – I don't have very good health insurance you see".

Christian closes his eyes and shakes his head, when he opens them they are blazing with anger.

"Elliot, you have to take responsibility for this" he says quietly – too quietly.

Elliot nods, he hasn't said a word, but he is looking more ashamed as the time wears on.

Christian takes charge, "Right, Elliot you are going to pay this girls hospital bills, you are going to get her some decent health insurance, and you are going to set up a bank account for your child and you are going to deposit a set amount in it every month without fail, you will back pay that account to when she first told you she was expecting you child and you will reimburse her the money she has spent up to this point, and if you don't so god help me you will regret it". He stands abruptly and leans over Elliot "is that clear?" he adds with such menace I shudder.

Elliot swallows deeply "yes" he whispers, he looks at Susannah "I'm sorry" he says, "Don't worry I will take care of you and the baby" he says.  
He stands, "i have to go I have a meeting with an architect in 20 minutes, I will sort everything, don't worry about a thing" he says.

Susannah nods, and Elliot turns and leaves. The silence is deafening as the door shuts.

"I didn't know he was your brother" Susannah says quietly, "I would never have got involved if I did, I haven't said anything about...(she glances uncomfortably at me) you know...us before you know, and I won't I could never hurt you like that sir, and you have been so nice to me Mrs Grey I mean today I was so frightened, then there was that time when I turned up with Lulu at your office, you could have thrown me out but you were nice to me back then, and all this it must be ...weird!" she smiles, I can't help thinking what a lovely smile she has.

Christian smiles kindly at her, "thank you Susannah"

"Mrs Grey?" she turns to me, "would you tell his wife I am sorry, and that I didn't know, and that I tried to end it when I did, please!"

I nod, my sympathy for this girl is growing by the minute, and the fact she was my husbands sub many years ago, is irrelevant to me now, she is a thoroughly decent young woman who has been treated very badly by Elliot.

She glances at her watch and gathers all her hospital papers, "I have to go, I have a hospital appointment soon across town"

"Taylor will take you!" Christian says

"No thank you Mr Grey" she says politely "that's very kind of you but I can manage" she smiles I realise this is a huge thing for her, it is the first time she has said no to Christian, and what he does next will prove how he now sees her.

He pauses thinking and then smiles "Ok - If you are sure, the offer is there" he says.

I beam at him so proud of my husband, he looks at confused as to why I am grinning like an idiot at him.

Susannah walks slowly towards the door, she pauses and looks back at us standing there watching. "Thank you both for everything" she says and with that she is gone.

I look at Christian, and go and hug him and plant a huge kiss on his lips, "Well done!" I say

He frowns.

"You handled that brilliantly, I am so proud of you, she seems a lovely girl"

"Hmm" he says, "But not as lovely as you" he says as his arms tighten around me and his hand grips my head and he kisses me soundly.

I respond greedily and when we break apart I whisper to him "Take me home Mr Grey"

"With pleasure!" he says.


	14. Chapter 14

**Thank you for the responses to my latest instalment, I didn't want this to be another story of it turning out to be Christian cheating on Ana, I am glad most of you are enjoying the way the story is progressing. I will say in my story Susannah IS what she seems, as I got that impression of her from the real Fifty Shades books, when she met Ana.**  
**(I do not own fifty Shades)**

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

I am sitting with Kate, I have just told her everything that happened the previous day, and who Susannah is, and she is looking at me with her mouth open.

"Ana, you are so naive, do you seriously think she is what she seems, especially with her history with Christian?

"Honestly Kate, its not like that, you didn't see her she was distraught" I say, I can't believe I would ever be sitting talking to my best friend about one of Christians ex's and I am even more incredulous that I am taking Susannah's side and trying to make my best friend see she is the victim in all this.

Kate looks sceptical, and I lose patience, "Look Kate, I believe her, she has tried to say sorry and do the right thing – its your husband who is to blame for this mess, the fact she was Christian's sub years ago is irrelevant and a coincidence, its not her fault Elliot is a man-whore who has screwed...". I stop dead, I have just let slip something Christian told me years ago about Elliot which I'd not thought about until it just popped into my head and was coming out of my mouth, I have never regretted a brain to mouth malfunction more in my life.

Kate gapes at me, I have never spoken to her like that before and she is reeling, "man-whore?" she says her eyes widening, "what do you mean by that, what do you know about Elliot?"

"Nothing, I was just being spiteful" I lie desperately backtracking

"I don't believe you Ana I know when you are lying tell me" she is adamant.

I sigh, "Years ago soon after Christian and I got married and we all went to Aspen, when Elliot proposed to you, I saw Elliot with Gia, It turned out it was all totally innocent, but I got the wrong Idea and told Christian because I was worried and I wanted to run it past him before I said anything to you, and he made a flippant comment that Elliot had screwed half of Seattle, but he assured me that it would be innocent and as it turned out it was and he proposed to you that evening, so i never said anything as I assumed he had changed his ways because he loved you, for some reason that just popped into my head, and unfortunately it came out of my mouth as well " I stop and look at my friend.

The silence is unbearable, "Say something" I mutter when I can't bear it any longer.

She smiles suddenly, "Ok I'll give her the benefit of the doubt...for now, but I'm not convinced" she pauses, "I would really like to meet her though, to see if I see what you do, after all..." she pauses again and she stiffens, "we will have children who are siblings".

I hug Kate to me, and she pulls away "would you try and organise it for me to meet her please?" I nod whilst wondering how the hell I am going to go about this.

I am sitting playing with my children, spending some quality time with them, Izzy is sitting happily in my lap as I sit on the floor with them, Phoebe is busy colouring and Ted is playing on his games console, he is so good at those games, when he plays with Christian he trounces him in the games they play, I don't even begin to understand them. I love my children and can't imagine my life without them, my mind suddenly and inexplicably wanders to my lost baby, Matthew, I have an over whelming urge to go and check on Alex. I stand with Izzy in my arms and wander into Alexander's room next door; he is lying cooing and babbling in his crib playing with the multitude of toys hanging around him. I smile, Izzy struggles from my arms and I set her down at the side of the crib, she puts her small hand through the bars and gently strokes Alexander's head.

I lift Alexander from his crib and make my way to the chair, as I cradle him and waggle toys at him he smiles and reaches for them, Izzy clambers on to me and snuggles up with us, the door opens and Phoebe and Ted appear and come over to us, Phoebe, settles down on the floor with her colouring book and Ted moves the stool and sits staring a me intently.

I look at him and smile, he has my blue eyes but he is so like his father in looks as well as his nature, its unnerving. I smile down at him.

"Mommy?" he says, looking at me as though his eyes are boring into my soul.

"Yes Ted" I reply

He pauses "Why is daddy angry with Uncle Elliot and why doesn't he and Aunty Kate come round together any more?"

I sigh, how do I explain this to a six year old? "Well," I start and then pause, trying to choose my words carefully.

"Because Uncle Elliot has done some very silly things and upset a lot of people" a voice replies from the doorway I look up and Christian is leaning casually against the door frame.

"DADDY!" Isobel squeals so loudly she makes Alexander jump and start to grizzle. She wriggles off my lap and charges towards Christian and as he holds his arms out to her she launches herself into them and he swings her up into his arms.

"Hello Daddy!" I say grinning at Christian, whilst trying to console Alex.

"Hello mommy!" Christian replies giving me a scorching look which makes me blush.

Ted walks over to Christian "Daddy, are Uncle Elliot and Aunty Kate getting divorced?" Christian glances at me startled, then crouching beside Ted says "I think so" and puts his hand on his small shoulder, Ted looks worried, and grabs Christians hand, "My friend Lewis' mommy and daddy got divorced, he lives with his mommy now and sees his daddy only at weekends"

"Does he" Christian replies looking into Ted's worried gaze, "What's the matter Ted?" Christian asks.

I notice Phoebe has gone very still and is waiting for Ted to speak, she suddenly drops her pen and runs to Ted "Ask him Ted" she says shoving him with her elbow.

Ted looks at Phoebe, then me and then looking Christian straight in the eye, he says in a voice so small we can hardly hear, "Will you and mommy get divorced too?"

Christians reaction is immediate he places Izzy on the ground and folds his son in his arms and pulls him onto his lap, "No why on earth would you think such a thing?"

"Because Lewis said his mommy and daddy were always working and disappearing then when they were together they went off and talked out the way and then ... and then...Lewis' daddy went away" tears spring into his eyes.

I think about the past few months and everything that has happened we have hardly spent any time together as a family, we have been working and going out of earshot and discussing Elliot and before that was the business with Jack it has been a tumultuous time and we have failed to see what effect this has been having on our children.

Christian hugs Ted tightly and tears spring into his eyes, "Ted I promise you mommy and I are not getting divorced, I will never leave mommy and you guys".

Ted relaxes and smiles, "Ok" he says then turning to me he says "What's for dinner I'm starving?"

I laugh and say "Why don't you go and find Mrs Taylor and ask her" Ted jumps up and runs out of the room closely followed by Phoebe and Isobel.

I turn to Christian "I had no idea"

Christian frowns "neither did I, I think we should take off on that trip to England soon I think we need it!"

I nod, I remember what happened to today with Kate, should I mention it now, I decide to take the plunge.

"Christian, i saw Kate today" I look at him

"Oh, and?" he looks at me

"She wants to meet Susannah"

Christian frowns again "I see" he says

"She knows what she was to you" I add

"What!" he exclaims

"Oh come on Christian she knows everything you know she does"

"I don't mean that, it's what you just said, - what she was to me, Ana she was nothing to me, she was a bit of light relief at weekends, nothing more"

I get irritated "i know that oh for goodness sake Christian stop being so touchy about her I was trying to be tactful that's all it didn't mean anything, anyway can you get in touch with her so I can arrange for Kate to meet her?"

Christian nods but he doesn't look happy about it, "I didn't want you to get caught up in the middle of all this, it's not fair, you have been through enough recently without taking on everyone else's problems" he says irritably

I smile and move towards him still cradling Alex, "Do you know how much I love you Mr Grey" I say and touch his face.

His eyes smoulder and he takes Alex from my arms and places him in his crib, and takes my hand to lead me from the room, we are thwarted by the door flying open and Ted coming rushing in shouting "Its spaghetti bolognaise – my favourite, and Mrs Taylor said its ready in..." he pauses and screws up his face he glances at Phoebe who whispers in his ear

"Five minutes" he says looking proud at remembering most of the message.

"Well we all had better get washed and ready then hadn't we?" I say, and with that a stampede of footsteps disappears out of the door.

After dinner, Christian disappears to his office, and makes a call a few minutes later he returns.

"Well she agreed to meet Kate, but she's not very happy about it" he says, "She asked if you would go with her" he pauses

"Well I intended to, so I hope you said I would" I say firmly looking at him daring him to disagree.

He looks uncomfortable "Christian" I say looking at him.

He sighs, and waves his hand in the air "Fine, I will make the arrangements" he turns and disappears again.

After bathing the children and putting them to bed, Christian comes to find me, I am in the library, ploughing through a mountain of paper work, I glance up as he enters.

"It's all arranged, I called Kate and Susannah"

"Fine" I reply and smile

"Come here Mrs Grey" Christian says in that tone of voice which makes me go weak, I stand immediately and walk towards him.

"How about we finish what we were going to do earlier when we were interrupted" he whispers seductively in my ear, I almost melt.

"How could I refuse Mr Grey?" I say and kiss him soundly.

The next day I am sitting in a private office in Grey House with Susannah who is looking absolutely terrified. I smile at her and she manages a weak one in return.  
A moment later Kate breezes in, she stares at Susannah and then at me, and stops in her tracks, all the fight seeming to leave her body, she steps towards Susannah who is standing holding out a shaky hand towards Kate.

"Hello Mrs Grey" she whispers in a hoarse trembling voice.

Kate's eyes soften slightly and accepts her hand, "Hello" she replies shortly.

There is an awkward silence, and I will someone to say something.

In the end Susannah, blurts out "I am so sorry, I didn't know, I just didn't"

After that things seem to start moving Kate starts questioning Susannah in her usual forthright manner and Susannah answers her politely, I am sitting watching in silence after about 10 minutes of intense grilling from Kate there is a pause.

Kate sighs "I don't think we will ever be friends, but I believe you, I know what Elliot is like, and everything you have said sounds plausible"

Susannah nods, "I did try to end it when I found out he was married, but he kept pestering me, but I never slept with him again after I found out he was married"

Kate nods. She glances down at Susannah's stomach where there is a faint hint of a bump starting to appear.

I look from Kate to Susannah and decide to put in my two penny worth "If you ask me he screwed you both over!" I say

They both nod, Kate looks at Susannah and says quietly "I don't blame you"

Susannah sags with relief and smiles back she reaches out to touch Kate's hand and says "Honestly I am very sorry"

Kate surprises Susannah and me by standing abruptly and hugging her tightly, "take care of yourself she says" her voice thick with emotion and with that she turns and leaves.

Susannah looks shell shocked, "I think I'd better go" she says "Thank you for coming with me Mrs Grey"

"You are welcome" I say kindly, I look hard at Susannah, she looks like the type of person who wouldn't hurt a fly and so all this must be really upsetting for her.  
I watch her leave and go in search of Kate, I find her in the bathroom, blowing her nose.

"Kate" I say and she glances up at me.

"Oh Ana" she moans and I hold her as she sobs into my shoulder.

As we prepare to leave, Christian appears and strolls towards us he looks at Kate briefly and then at me. Kate offers him a watery smile "Thank you for arranging this Christian" she says and holds out her hand to him, his face softens and he takes it.

"No problem, if you need anything, just call" he says. He turns to me, puts his hand on my shoulder and plants a small chaste kiss on my lips, "I have to get back to work, laters baby" he mutters in my ear.

I watch him as he turns on his heel and leaves us.


	15. Chapter 15

**Thank you for the responses to my latest installment. (I do not own fifty Shades)**

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

We are walking through the crowded London streets, the children are wide eyed and taking in everything that is going on. Alex is in his pram which I am pushing with Ted and Phoebe walking at my side, Christian is strolling along carrying Izzy on his shoulders.  
We have done so much but there is no sign of the children tiring, we have done a lot of touristy things The Tower of London, The London Eye and London Zoo and we are now walking towards Harrods where we have promised the children afternoon tea, walking at a discreet distance behind us is Taylor and Sawyer.

Christian looks excited about something as we arrive at the large Harrods store, he leans towards me and whispers "I have a surprise for you", he glances at his watch and then round to Taylor who smiles and nods.

"What are you up to Mr Grey?" I ask looking at him suspiciously

"You'll see" he says smugly, he lifts Isobel from his shoulders, as he opens the door he looks into the faces of our children "Best behaviour, ok" he says kindly but firmly.

Izzy nods solemnly and Ted and Phoebe both say "yes" in unison.

We walk in and head to the restaurant, as i walk in my mouth drops open at the figure sauntering towards me with a huge grin on his face.

"Jose" I squeal and fling my arms around him, he laughs and catches me in his arms.

"Hey Ana!" he says "It's good to see you"

"Jose, Jose, Jose" Ted is jumping up and down unable to contain his delight.

"Hey Champ you remember me?! high five!" Jose says raising his hand which Ted slaps enthusiastically.

"Hi Christian" Jose says extending his out which Christian shakes warmly, his attention is drawn to Phoebe and Izzy who are unnaturally quiet, Izzy has never met Jose and Phoebe was too young to remember him. "Hello and what's your name little lady" he says crouching down to Izzy she immediately flings her arm around Christians leg and hides her face.

He stokes Phoebe's hair gently, "You don't remember me do you?" he says to her, she shakes her head at him.

"I can't believe how much you guys have grown" he says looking from Phoebe to Ted and back again.

"Shall we sit down?" Christian gestures towards a table.

Jose is peering into the pram, "This must be the latest edition to the family" he says smiling kindly, I still think I am dreaming I can't believe he is here, in London.

"What are you doing in London? I say

"Well I have a job, I am working for an advertising company I take a few snaps, they pay me for doing it!" he says casually.  
I am so pleased for him, and beam at him.

"I also have an exhibition coming up of my work, obviously I don't want to be tied to the advertising company for ever, but for the time being it keeps the wolves from the door!"

I gape at him, "An exhibition, you have gone global; oh I am so proud of you!" I say

"Couldn't have done it without Christians help" he says generously.

I look at my husband who waves his hand dismissively.

We spend a lovely afternoon with Jose just chatting and catching up I have not seen him since Phoebe was 2, and I was heavily pregnant with Izzy, and he crashed at our place for a few days. We have kept in contact by Skype, email, phone and text but to see him in the flesh again after so long is so good.

Christian, stands suddenly "come on gang" he says "lets go and explore. Leave mommy and Jose to talk". I smile at him and remember back to how jealous he got when Jose and I were in the same room. Jose watches them go.

"I never figured Christian as Mr Domestic" he says to me with a grin

"He's a wonderful father" I say

Jose looks hard at me and reaches over to grasp my hand "How are you, really?" he says seriously.

"Its been hard but I am getting there" I say, I cast my mind back to the day I broke down in tears on the phone shortly after I'd lost Matthew, Jose had called me to check in and see how things were with us and caught me at a bad moment, and I had just sobbed and spilled my guts out over the phone "but I have this little one to keep me busy and the others of course" I say resting my hand protectively on the pram.

Jose squeezes my hand. We sit and talk and I tell him about Kate and Elliot, he shakes his head sadly, I tell him about work and how that is one of the reasons why we are here in London, he tells me how grateful he is to Christian, apparently he had recommended Jose to the head of the advertising company who was an old business acquaintance when he was looking for a new in house photographer, and how when due to that posting Jose was approached to show an exhibition of his work, Christian helped to finance it.

He sighs suddenly, "I am so grateful for the help Christian has given me, this has been the opportunity of my life, and really it's been a blast"

"But?" I say looking at him.

"I miss my dad, and he's not getting any younger" he says.

I smile and grasp his hand, "I can relate to that".

"So..." he says looking at me "I'm going home, I'm still going to be working for the advertising company, but back in the States at their Seattle office, so I will be able to see my dad other than via Skype".

"What about your exhibition?" I say

"Oh it will be after that, my exhibition starts next week, and runs for a month, and i transfer back to Seattle in 2 months time".  
I nod and smile at him, "Well there will be no excuse then for you to come and see us more often" I say.

"You can count on it! You will be sick of the sight of me!" he says

"Never!" I say.

We talk and reminise about old time and time just flies by all too soon Christian reappears, the children are all carrying bulging Harrods bags.

"You've been spoiling them again" I say with a grin.

I feel sad as I stand to leave, it has been so good seeing Jose again, as I hug him, he wraps his arms tightly around me and squeezes, and Christian pulls me gently from his arms.

"Enough fondling my wife" he says, Jose grins widely, and extends his hand to Christian.

"It was good to see you again Christian, and thanks again for everything you have done for me".

I look from my husband to my friend who I have always considered more of a brother and it does me good to see them so relaxed and genuinely pleased to be in each others company.

The rest of the trip goes well, my visit to the publishing company is a success but my favourite part of that visit was returning with Christian and seeing Taylor and Sawyer playing with our children, Sawyer was kicking a ball about with Ted and Taylor sat with Izzy on his lap and Phoebe sat at his side and they were busily colouring. Christian smiled and I saw a smile appear on Taylor's lips, even though he looked as though he was concentrating, I knew he was still on alert.

I was feeling a little bit low, that evening as we lay in bed, Christian pulled me to him, "What's wrong baby?" he whispered in my ear as he placed small kisses on my neck.

"Just sad to go home, its been a lovely trip, and seeing Jose again was the best, its just been perfect!" I say I turn to face him and place my hand over his heart, "Thank you".

"You should know by now I would give you the world to make you happy" Christian replies his voice full of emotion. He scowls suddenly as his Blackberry rings, he reaches over behind him and glances at the screen and frowns" he presses a button and lifts the phone to his ear "Taylor?" he says with a hint of irritation in his voice.

The next minute he is leaping to his feet, I go cold what on earth has happened.

"I'm sure she will be fine...yes certainly of course you must, I'll make some calls see what I can do" Christian says.  
He hangs up.

"What's happened?" say

"Taylor's ex wife and daughter have been involved in a car crash"

My hand leaps to my throat and I gasp, we all love Taylor's 14 year old daughter Sophie.

The next morning we are driving to the airport in silence. Sawyer is driving, Taylor has already left, Christian made some calls and got him on an earlier flight, the first flight of the morning I glance at my watch, he should be in the air by now.  
The flight seems to take forever, when we finally arrive home everyone is subdued Gail is preparing some food, and she looks worried.

"Is there any news Gail?" I ask

She shakes her head, "Jason phoned me when he landed, and he went straight to the hospital, and he has been there ever since".

Just at that moment a phone rings, Gail freezes and then rummages in her pocket. She puts the phone to her ear "Hello" she says.  
Her hand lifts to her mouth as she listens she glances at me and then says "yes they are, Mrs Grey is standing here now".  
Christian comes striding into the room, he looks at me and then at Gail, she glances at him and then says into the phone "Mr Grey is here now do you want to speak to him?" More things are said and Gail steps towards Christian holding the phone out with a trembling hand. Christian takes it from her, his face looks grim.

"Hello... Jason, yes...listen take as long as you need...well then, she comes here...of course she must she's your daughter, keep me updated, thank you...yes ...goodnight" he hands the phone back to Gail and disappears without a word.

I follow him into his study where Christian is pacing around I go to him and wrap my arms around his waist; he stills and folds his arms around me.

"Christian what's happened, is Sophie badly hurt?"

He sighs, and squeezes me, "Sophie is hurt but not badly – physically, a gash to the head, broken arm and cuts and bruises, but her mother ...has died" he stops

"Oh poor Sophie" I say

"Taylor is staying with her over night, she will probably be discharged in the morning and then he will be bringing her back here, but he needs to contact his ex wife's family and make arrangements for the funeral"

"Did Sophie's mother remarry?" I ask

Christian shakes his head, but says nothing. I can tell this has hit a raw nerve, and derailed him, it's taken him back to a time and place which almost destroyed him, and left him broken for years. He clings to me. There is a knock at the door, we turn and see Gail standing in the doorway.

"Dinner is ready when you are" she says.

Christian walks towards her, "Thank you, listen take the night off go to Jason, he needs you right now, in fact take as long as you need, we will manage"

Gail absentmindedly fiddles with the wedding ring Taylor gave her and smiles weakly at Christian. She shakes her head, "I'll go to the hospital tonight, but I will be here in the morning I will need to prepare things for Sophie coming, so I will need to be here"

Christian nods "As long as you are sure, if you need to go just go" he says putting his hand on her arm.

"Thank you Mr Grey" she says and leaves the room.

Dinner is a sober affair, we eat in silence, and then Christian disappears to his study, Ted looks worried, he slides off his chair and puts his arms around me and clambers on to my knee.

"Mommy why is daddy sad?" he says

I hug him tightly, "There has been an accident and Sophie was in it, and she has been hurt, Taylor is at the hospital with her now, but its a very upsetting time because Sophie's mommy was also in the accident and she ...she got really badly hurt...and it was really bad"  
Ted nods, "is Sophie ok?" he says, he has always adored Sophie.

I nod and smile, "she will be coming to live here when she comes out of the hospital and must be very thoughtful and give her some time and space"

"What about Sophie's mommy?" he says

I take a deep breath "Sophie's mommy has gone to heaven" I say.

"Oh" he says and pauses, "Like Matthew?"

I nod.

The next day it is about lunchtime when the front door opens and Taylor walks in, he looks terrible, at his side, is Sophie she looks lost. She is clinging to his hand.

"Hello Sophie darling, how are you?" I ask gently

She says nothing and just stares at me as if I am some kind of strange creature. Taylor leads her gently to the kitchen and gives her a drink. She hasn't said a word.

"Can I help with anything?" I ask

Taylor shakes his head, "we are just waiting for Sophie's stuff to arrive, I fetched her clothes last night when she was sleeping, and Mr Grey arranged for a removal van to fetch the rest this morning".

I smile that is just like Christian, Just then Gail walks in and glances at Sophie "Jason, Sophie's furniture and belongings have arrived" she says.

Taylor looks at me and then at Sophie, "Do you want to come and help sort your stuff out?" he says gently she doesn't say a word , but climbs off the chair and follows him from the room.


	16. Chapter 16

**Thank you for the responses to my latest instalment. (I do not own fifty Shades, but the plot and extra characters are all from my imagination)**

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

Six months have passed and we are all worried about Sophie, it took her nearly two weeks to speak again, and it was Christian who managed to bring her around then. Sophie was sitting in our lounge gazing into space when Christian started playing the piano, Sophie looked up and then wandered over to the piano and stood watching him, Gail and I stopped in our tracks and just stood staring it was the first time Sophie had reacted to anything since she had arrived.

She started looking through the pile of sheet music on the top of the piano, and picked up one piece. She moved towards Christian and holding out the music to him, in a tiny voice said "Mr Grey, can you play this one please?"

Tears are pouring down Gail's cheek and she slips from the room to fetch Taylor. I am rooted to the spot unable to take my eyes off the scene unfolding in front of me, I remember Carrick telling me once that it was the piano which brought Christian out of himself, it dawns on me he is doing this on purpose, because he knows what she is going through, he is trying to help.

Taylor appears and stands beside me, I touch his arm. Sophie has moved to stand next to Christian and he is playing a tune which I can't place. Christian shuffles over on his seat and Sophie sits beside him. As he starts to play, Sophie hums along to the tune.  
Taylor looks at me "that was one of Jen's favourite songs" he whispers, "my ex wife" he clarifies seeing my blank look.

None of us know what to do, so we just watch. Christian continues to play and Sophie hums along, when Christian finishes, Sophie looks up at him

"Thank you Mr Grey, that was my mom's favourite song she ..." she stops and the dam breaks, she breaks down and sobs uncontrollably, Taylor is by her side in a flash and takes her in his arms.

Since then, there have been tiny steps of progress, Christian has offered to pay for Sophie to see Flynn, but Taylor is reluctant about that. What concerns us all is the change in her character in the last six months, she was a sweet girl but now seems to be so angry and rebellious, we hear her screaming at Gail at times. It is all totally unacceptable but understandable behaviour. We are all concerned for her, she is grieving and hurting but won't let anyone in.

I am sitting at work when my phone rings, "Ana Grey" I say.

"Hey Ana!" a familiar voice says to me

"Jose! How are you?" I say, a smile immediately coming on my face.

"I'm good, I have been back in Seattle for nearly 3 months and I thought I'd better call and see if I can come round and see you all?"

"Jose of course you can, that would be wonderful" I say sincerely

"I'll come round tonight if that's ok with you guys and we can chill?"

"That's great Jose, Christian wants to ask you something"

"The mind boggles! Ok I'll see you both about 7ish does that sound good?" he says

"That's great, see you later!" we hang up and I call Christian.

"Ana" he purrs down the phone, it always makes my heart beat a little faster when he does that.

"Christian, Jose called he is coming round tonight to see us about 7ish – are you going to ask him what we talked about" I say

"That's great, yes I will, why don't you call Kate and see if she wants to come over with the girls, I'm sure she would love to see Jose again?" he suggests

"I will do, ok I've got to go now, I love you Mr Grey" I say

I hear his breath intake sharply "Ok baby, I love you too" he says.

I call Kate and she seems enthusiastic about coming over to see Jose, and I carry on working looking forward to the evening ahead.

Just after 7pm there is a knock at the door, I run to open it and Jose is standing there, holding up an obviously drunk and disheveled Sophie. "I found this girl wandering around your driveway, she's out of her skull but she doesn't seem to be that old, do you want to call the police?" he says.  
I shake my head and shout Taylor loudly; he is beside me in seconds taking in the sight before him. He lifts the swaying girl into his arms and takes her across the driveway to their apartment.

"Who was that?" Jose asks stepping over the threshold?"

"Taylor's daughter, it's a long story" I say and throw my arms around Jose in welcome; Christian appears at my side and shakes Jose warmly by the hand.

We walk into the lounge and Jose gapes when he takes in Kate sitting on the sofa with a glass of wine in her hand.

"Well don't just stand there looking gormless Jose Rodriguez, come here and give me a hug!" Kate says grinning as she stands up.

"Kate, its good to see you", Jose hugs Kate and looks in surprise at the two young girls playing on the floor with Izzy and Phoebe, Alex is crawling around and it is all very domestic.

Kate turns to her daughters and says "Ava, Zoe come here and meet an old friend of mine, Jose these are my daughters, Ava and Zoe, girls this is Jose"

The girls look a little shy but say hello to Jose, just then the door flies open and Ted charges into the room, "JOSE!" he squeals and Jose lifts him up.

"Hey Champ!" he says

"High Five!" Ted squeals lifting his hand up, and Jose smacks it gently.

Christian gently removes Ted from Jose's arms "Come here you, let Jose sit down" he says as soon as Jose is sitting Ted clambers from Christians arms and leaps on Jose again.

Christian offers a bottle of beer to Jose which he accepts with a grin, he takes a gulp and holds up the bottle "Cheers Christian" he says.

"Right then" Christian says sitting down, "Jose I have a favour to ask of you"

Jose leans forward, "shoot" he says looking intrigued.

"Would you take some family photos of us all? I loved the ones I have that you look of Ana and I would like some of my children and maybe a group photo or two, you know the sort of thing" he pauses

"No problem" Jose replies

"I will pay you for your services" Christian adds

"No you won't, this is on me, it will be my honour to do it for you" Jose says

Christian scowls at the fact Jose is refusing payment, but doesn't say anything. Kate looks at Jose and says "would you take some for me too please of Ava and Zoe?" she asks

"Sure, I'll charge you though" he replies with a grin and a twinkle in his eye, "Seriously though, of course I will its great to see you all again"  
The evening goes well there is lots of laughter and talking, and I have not seen Kate so animated in months.

"So" Jose says suddenly "What's the story with that girl?"

Christian shakes his head, "That is Sophie, Taylor's daughter, she was involved in a car accident about six months ago in which her mother was killed, she has been living here with her father ever since, she's not coping very well" he explains.

"Poor kid, I remember when we were involved in that accident with that drunk a few years ago..." Jose says he stops as he glances at me, I shiver as I remember that time all too well, I thought I was going to lose my father, Jose's father had also been hurt but Jose had escaped any serious injury.

"I was destroyed that my father had been hurt, but to lose your mom at that age" Jose says grimly.

I lean over and rub Jose's arm and sigh, "we are all trying to do what we can but she won't let anyone in" .

At that moment, Taylor appears at the door looking uncomfortable and coughs, as one we all turn.

"I'm sorry about that" he says.

Christian stands and leads Taylor into his study. Jose watches them, he frowns and thinks for a moment and then stands and follows, Kate and I look in surprise.

"Won't be a minute" Jose says to us.

I am intrigued I look at Kate and there are unspoken words between us , we both stand and follow Jose.

As we reach Christians office Jose is shaking Taylor's hand. Taylor looks hopeful.

"What's going on?" I ask

Christian turns and smiles, "Jose is going to try and help Sophie"

"Jose? How" I ask confused

Jose smiles at me, "Photography was my saviour, when my mom died, I walked miles taking photos of the landscape and surrounding area, it gave me something to focus on and I found that I was quite good at it, and ...well the rest is history"

Taylor looks at Jose, "Thank you" he says and I can tell even though he is putting on a brave impassive face, he is worried sick, there are new lines around his eyes and mouth and he looks thinner, I hadn't noticed before.

Three days later Jose arrives to do the portraits, Kate arrives with the girls we all sit waiting for Christian to appear. We go outside into the sunshine, and head to the meadow; it is a lovely setting for photographs. Sophie is wandering around; I glance up at her and smile.

"Hi Sophie, do you want to come along? I say, I see Taylor hovering in the distance.

"I don't want to intrude" she replies

Jose takes charge and smiles at Sophie, "When I've finished doing Ana and Kate this favour, perhaps you could do me one, I need a teenage girl for an advertising campaign the company I work for is doing and you are perfect, could I take some photos of you?"

Sophie smiles its the first real smile we have seen for months, "Sure" she says then her face drops, "but my dad won't let me" she adds.

"My dad won't let me do what?" Taylor has appeared next to her and puts his arm around her shoulder.

I am holding my breath, and unconsciously cross my fingers.

"Let me have my photo taken" she replies now sulky, the smile has disappeared and she hangs her head.

Taylor glances at Jose and smiles, "why would I not let you have your photo taken?" I'd love an up to date photo of you!"

"It's not for you dad" Sophie snaps back at him, "Mr Rodriguez needs it for an advertising campaign"

Jose steps towards Taylor, "You would get a copy of anything I took" he says kindly

I am hoping this contrived situation is going to work, Sophie gazes up at Taylor "Please dad!" she says.

"Why not!" Taylor says with a grin and hugs his daughter tightly.

Christian arrives and shakes Jose's hand, "Sorry to keep you waiting"

"Not a problem" Jose replies in his usual laidback manner, "shall we start?" he adds.

Jose snaps away, and after a while Kate says, "I think we should be heading back, have you got what you need of us Jose?"  
"Yep, I think so" he replies with a grin.

Kate gives me a hug and we watch her disappear. Taylor stands to the side and Jose glances at him thinking, "Erm would you mind me taking some shots of you as well?" he says to Taylor, who's mouth drops open.

"I ...erm..." Taylor splutters

"Go on dad!" Sophie urges

"Ok" he replies looking very embarrassed.

Jose looks towards Sophie, "would you mind giving me a hand please, I need someone to hold this?" Sophie walks towards him intrigued.

"What does that do?" she asks looking at the huge white disc in her hand.

"It concentrates the available light on to the subject – in this case your dad, and makes the picture brighter" Jose replies

She nods, Jose looks at her "in fact you can help me when I take the rest of the photos, only if you want to?"

Sophie smiles and nods enthusiastically, then she glances at Taylor, "Can I dad?" she asks

"Sure, as long as you do what Mr Rodriguez says" he replies

Sophie nods again.

"Please, Mr Rodriguez is my dad, call me Jose!" he laughs.

The afternoon flies past, Sophie is taking a real interest in photography and asking intelligent questions, and Jose is answering and giving tips and advice where he can.

Suddenly she looks up at Jose, "Mr Rod...Jose?" she asks

"Yes" he replies smiling at her.

"How much do you charge for doing this?" she asks

"Depends, today its a favour for a friend" he gestures towards Christian, "so I am not charging anything, and the photo's I took of you and your dad, well you were doing me a favour so they are freebies too, Why?"

"Oh, how much do you charge, because I'd really like you to take a photo...of me and my dad" she says softly.

Jose smiles, "Well considering you have done me a favour by letting me take photos of you and you have been a brilliant assistant, I owe you one, so I will take as many as you like of you and your dad, when I have finished ok?"

Sophie beams at him and flings her arms around him, Jose looks surprised but hugs her back and laughs.

Later when Jose has finished, Sophie is still asking questions and Jose is answering and giving her advice. Jose reaches into his bag and pulls out a small compact point and shoot camera, and hands it to her.

"This is what I started with, if you are serious, learn your craft with one of these, you can borrow this take some photos of different things and I will take a look at them and give you some pointers ok?"

Sophie nods, "Thank you Jose" she says and hugs him.

As Jose is leaving Taylor walks up to him and catches his arm, he extends his hand out Jose "Thank you" he says gruffly.

"No problem" Jose replies with a smile, "Glad I could help".


	17. Chapter 17

CHAPTER 17

Its New years eve, and I am sitting watching the family enjoy themselves. I look at Kate who is talking to Ethan and Mia, Grace is chatting with my mother who has flown in from Georgia with Bob.

My father, Carrick, Bob and Christian are in deep conversation about something and Jose is being monopolised by the children who are leaping all over him and he is loving every moment of it. There is one person missing and I sigh, Elliot has put himself in exile, and has nothing to do with any of the family any more. It has devastated Grace who has tried repeatedly to contact him. Grace told me that he and Susannah were not in contact either but he was still providing financially, the baby had been born – a little boy and Susannah had called him Noah. Grace had been to see him and was offering support where she could, she said he was the spitting image of Elliot. Apparently Elliot had visited once shortly after he was born, held his son briefly and then left.

Susannah was a good woman, she could have caused a stink after what Elliot had done, but instead she chose to be dignified and mature, concentrating on her son rather than revenge on the man who had abandoned her. She had also kept her promise about not telling anyone about her past with Christian. This dignified – some would say ridiculously saintly behaviour had earned her Kate's respect and Kate was helping her and they were becoming friends, bonding over the fact they were both screwed over by Elliot, and the fact their children were siblings.

Kate comes over and pulls me from my thoughts, "Penny for them" she whispers to me

I jump, "I was just thinking about Susannah" I say.

Kate nods, "we are going out for lunch tomorrow, she has spent Christmas and new year with her folks".

I nod.

"How's Sophie?" Kate asks suddenly,

"She's doing better" i say, "she is thinking about going to college to do photography when she graduates, Jose has inspired her".

"I'm glad, she seemed a good kid, losing your mother - especially at that age" Kate says and shakes her head.

Just as we are all engrossed in conversations, Isobel's voice rings out across the room "LOOK" she shouts, everyone turns to gaze at Alex determinedly pulling himself up gripping the chair, the look on his face reminds me so much of Christian when he is single mindedly doing something.

He keeps losing his grip but stubbornly trying again, then he does it, he stands and a huge grin spreads across his face, he wobbles and plops down on his backside, Christian reaches down and scoops him up.

I wander over to my husband, "well he has is fathers determination" I say to Christian as I stroke Alex's head.

"More likely it's his mothers stubbornness" Christian replies, and kisses me on the cheek.

The clock chimes and Christian glances at his watch, "Happy new year" he says, he lowers Alex to the floor and takes me in his arms and kisses me soundly, I grab Christians hair and deepen the kiss he pulls away from me breathless, "Careful Mrs Grey" murmurs in my ear so only I can hear, a cheer goes around the room and I look to see everyone kissing and hugging.

"Let's hope this year is better than last" I say soberly, "because quite frankly I am glad to see the back of it"

Christian nods at me in agreement. "What are your wishes for the new year Mrs Grey" he asks me staring into my eyes.

I giggle "well after last year, a quiet boring year where nothing happens"

There is a knock at the door, Christian releases me and strides over to open it, standing there is Taylor, Gail and Sophie.

"Happy new year Sir" Taylor says

"We were hoping to be your first footers!" Gail adds.

Christian gestures them in an offers them a glass of champagne. Sophie is quiet but it is hardly surprising it was the first Christmas and new without her mother, and it was bound to be hard but she was making progress. She made a beeline for Jose and they stood talking photography. I glance over and spot the children all curled up fast asleep together on the carpet. Kate and I approach them quietly and start to untangle them; Grace comes over and helps Kate manoeuvre Ava and Zoe upstairs to the guest rooms. Christian strides over and lifts Ted into his arms and disappears, moments later he is back and repeats the procedure with Phoebe, between us we put our children to bed, before we return downstairs to our family Christian pulls me into his arms "happy new year Mrs Grey, here's to a better year eh?!"

I smile, "Well I can think of something which will start it off the right way, but we will have to wait until our guests have gone to bed!"

Christians eyes gleam "is that a promise Mrs Grey?"

Oh yes Mr Grey!" I reply.

Its nearly 2am before we are in bed, Christian pulls me towards him "Now then your promise from earlier" he says, and slowly he moves on top of me, just as he does this his phone starts to ring, he swears and goes to send the call to voicemail, as he picks it up he looks at the screen his face blanches.

"Christian what's wrong?" I say concerns with the look on his face.

He pauses and looks at me "It's Elena" he says

"What! What the hell does she want?"

She was the last person i expected to call, we hadn't heard a word from her for years, not since Christian had talked the night I told him I was pregnant with Ted. What the hell did she want after all these years?

Christian looks at the screen, clearly torn whether or not to answer the call, I make the decision for him and snatch the phone from his hand.

"Hello" I say sharply

"Oh Ana...that is Ana isn't it?" I hear that voice and I go cold.

"Yes, what do you want Elena?" I say "we were asleep" I add lying through my teeth.

"I'm sorry to disturb you but I need to talk to Christian, I am in a bar and Elliot is here and he looks unwell, and I was concerned" She pauses

"Just a moment" I say in a slightly softer tone, and hand the phone to Christian.

"Elena" he says, he listens to her, "is he, where?...I see I'm on my way" he sighs and climbs out of bed. About 10 minutes later he is disappearing out of the door with Carrick and Sawyer is driving them away. Grace puts her arm around me and leads me into the lounge, she looks worried.  
I look at her, "Why did it have to be her to ring?" I say, I still have an irrational hatred of her even after all these years. I look up and Kate is in the doorway.

"What's the matter?" she asks

I quickly outline the call and Kate sits down beside us, I go and make some warm drinks the night is cold and there are snow flurries coming down outside.

After what seems like hours we hear a car arriving outside and the light of headlights reflect through the window, I leap to my feet and run to the door, Christian and Carrick are struggling, half carrying a clearly wasted Elliot into the house, as they throw him on the sofa, I get a good look at him, I hardly recognise him, he is dirty with at least a weeks growth of hair on his face, he is thin and gaunt.

Christian looks at his brother with contempt, Kate stands staring at him as if she can't believe what she is seeing. She shakes her head.

"He's obviously drinking again then" she says eventually

I look at her in surprise, "What are you saying?"

Kate sits on the sofa, "Life with Elliot was hell, not at first, it was brilliant After Ava was born he started to drink a little more but nothing ridiculous, but after Zoe was born it all started to go wrong, he started binge drinking and go out on benders he'd disappear for days at a time, then come home and pretend nothing had happened, also every time we had a fight he'd use it as an excuse to do this, I had my suspicions he was screwing around when he was missing. It got worse and worse until I threatened to leave him, he seemed to come to his senses and things improved for a while, I thought we were back on track then I found out he was having an affair, and we had this enormous fight he went off for a week and then came back as if nothing had happened and told me it was over, that hit hadn't meant anything and he promised me he wouldn't see her again, but after a month or so I had my suspicions he was lying and that turned out to be true as you all found out and the rest you know"

We all gape at Kate, none of us had any idea how bad things had been for her. I pull her into my arms and hold her tightly, Grace comes over and takes Kate's hand.

"Oh you poor darling girl" she says.

I look at Grace and feel so sorry for her to have to have heard all that about her eldest son.

"I'm going to bed" Kate's says Grace and I nod and smile and Kate disappears from the room.

Grace takes Elliot's pulse and then gently manoeuvres him into the recovery position, Christian places a bucket at the side of his brother along with a glass of water and a couple of pain killers.

Carrick looks at Grace, "Go to bed Grace I will sit with him" he says in a tone which made me not want to be Elliot when he awoke.

Christian holds his hand out to me, I stand and walk towards him, "Goodnight Grace, Carrick" I say.

They both look towards me; Grace embraces me again "Good night Ana dear" she says

"Good night Ana" Carrick smiles at me, Christian places his hand on his fathers shoulder.

"Goodnight son!" Carrick says to Christian squeezing his hand.

I walk upstairs with Christian, "So much for a boring year eh, I hope it hasn't started how it means to go on!" I whisper to Christian as we climb into bed, Christian smiles.

"Let me make you feel better Mrs Grey" he whispers seductively as he climbs in beside me .

"Yes " I say, "Where were we before we were rudely interrupted!"


	18. Chapter 18

CHAPTER 18

I wake to light streaming in from my window, it seems awfully bright, and I open the curtains and smile when I take in the thick blanket of snow covering the ground.

I feel well rested and frown suddenly, wondering what the time is; I glance at the clock 10:15! Why has nobody woken me? I remember the events of the night before, my guess is they are sorting out Elliot, a thought crosses my mind, Alex should have woken me by now he is better than any alarm clock waking at 6:45 every morning. I head to the top of the stairs I hear talking from down below and shake my head.

I wander into Alex's room, "hey baby boy wakey wakey" I say softly and then stop something is wrong, I walk over to the crib, and look down, my beautiful little boy is blue and not breathing, panic grips me, I grab him in my arms.

"CHRISTIAN, GRACE, SOMEBODY HELP ME!" I scream at the top of my voice tears streaming down my face.

The door flies open, "Ana dear, what's wrong" it's Grace.

"Oh thank god" I say as I see her "It Alex, I am clinging on to my baby.

Grace looks from me to the still child in my arms and I see the rising horror on her face, "Ana dear let me take him" she says gently, as she takes him from me Christian bursts in, he looks from me to his mother and to the small lifeless body in her arms.

"No!" he whispers, his hands grabbing at his hair, "no no no!" he says again.

I look at Christian but I can't move, I can't do anything I watch as Grace examines Alex and turns to me with tears in her eyes. She shakes her head,

"I'm so sorry" she says

I stare at her, hearing the words but not comprehending what they mean, Christian is beside himself he comes to me to hold me but I put my hand up, "Don't touch me" I order, he stops dead,

"Ana?" he says the hurt and confusion on his face is evident.

I feel like I am suffocating I need to get away, I need to run, so I do just that, I push past Christian with a strength which surprises me and him, I run downstairs I see Elliot and Carrick still glaring at each other, they turn in surprise and stare at me, I am wearing nothing but one of Christians t shirts and my feet are bare, anger rises in me as I set eyes on Elliot. I lunge at him, screaming and ranting.

"This is all your fault you bastard, if you hadn't been out of your skull last night and we had all been up dragging your worthless ass back here, we would have been up before, you don't fucking deserve children, I punch wildly at him the strength and adrenaline coursing through me"

"Shit Ana" Elliot mutters as he tries to fend me off

"Don't you dare speak to me you pathetic excuse of a human being, you have 3 beautiful children and you don't give a shit about any of them, You're a selfish bastard" My fist connects with his face and he staggers backwards, I push him and he falls on to the floor, I rush past him and wrench open the front door and run out into the snow, the cold hits me like a stone and my legs give way beneath me and I fall into the snow weeping.

I feel strong arms around me "Christ Ana , come here, you will freeze to death" It's Christian of course, I allow myself to be gently lifted into his arms, and I cling to him, the fight and anger has gone now I just feel empty, nothing, except a huge tearing pain in my heart, my son is dead"

Christian carries me inside, I am vaguely aware of the sea of faces around me, but I say nothing, I do nothing I just want to curl up and hide somewhere. Christian carries me upstairs and into the shower to warm me, he strips and follows me in, I have sunk to the floor and am weeping Christian crouches beside me, gently pulls me to my feet and holds me tightly.

I look up at him and see the desolation in his eyes, he is hurting too, but he is putting his hurt and pain aside. He is concentrating on me, just like he always does. I cling to him and he gently washes my hair and body.

Christian dries me and I turn from him to dress, I pull on a pair of old sweat pants and a t shirt I pull my hair into a pony tail Christian takes my hand and tries to lead me from the room, I stop, "no" I say

"Baby you have to be brave and strong" he says his voice cracking with emotion.

I allow myself to be led from the room, downstairs I see Grace with her coat on holding my son. I run towards her screaming "give me my son". Grace holds him out to me and I take him clinging on to him, my boy my precious little boy.

"Ana dear we need to take him to the hospital, there are procedures which have to be followed" she says gently. I nod and follow her, Christian makes to follow me, and I turn to him.

"No" I say, for the second time that morning he stops dead and looks like I have just slapped him.

"But Ana" he starts

"I said no" I say more forcefully.

Christian runs his hands through his hair, looks from me to his mother, Carrick puts his hand on Christians arm, he sags and sighs deeply "OK but I'm not happy" he says in a sulky voice.

"I don't care" I reply and turn to leave.

I watch with dispassionate interest at the hospital, Grace has taken charge and knows exactly what to do, I am still sitting clinging on to my son, glaring at anyone who comes within 3 feet of me. I think back to the night before and remember him determined to pull himself up, tears appear again at the memory. I feel as though something has snapped inside me, nobody should have to go through this along with everything else that has happened recently I just can't take any more. I stand and I make to walk away, Grace spots me and brings me back.

"Ana dear" she says a worried look on her face.

I don't answer her I just continue to stare at my son,

She walks away and talks to a young doctor, who makes a call.

I am not aware of anything that is going on around me, I just sit.

"Annie" that voice brings me back to the now, I look up and see Ray, standing beside him is Christian.

"Daddy?" I say,

"Annie sweetheart" he says and crouches beside me. "Let the doctors take Alex, darling they have to do it"

"No" I say and cling to him tightly, "He's my baby I have to protect him" I look pleadingly at the calm man who has always been my father, my rock.

"Sure you do Annie, but you can stop now its over, let the doctors do their job, come on there's a good girl"

My father coaxes me to hand over my baby, as he leaves my arms I feel a new pain of anguish and the noise that leaves my mouth is almost feral.

"Good girl, come on Annie sweetheart" he says

Christian is hovering he wants to hold me but he is unsure of my reaction, I cling to my father and sob, we have never held each other like this before, but he soothes me and gently pulls me to my feet, "Annie sweetheart, I think Christian needs a hug" he says gently. I look at my husband and slowly walk into his arms. He clings to me and I feel his tears on my neck.

I am back at home, I feel empty; I am just sitting on the sofa staring into the fire. Everyone is silent, Kate and the girls have gone, Mia and Ethan have also left, my mother is gently weeping in the corner, being consoled by Bob, and Ray is standing with Carrick and Christian, they all look grim faced.

I wonder suddenly where Elliot is; I look towards Christian, who is immediately by my side,

"Ana?" he says grasping my hand

"Where's Elliot?" I ask

Christian looks surprised "He left while we were at the hospital" he says

"Oh" I say.

Grace appears and walks towards me with a determined look on her face and places a bowl of soup in front of me, "Come on Ana, you must eat" she says

"I'm not hungry" I say

"Ana you have three other children to consider, you have to stay strong for them"

Anger rises in me suddenly again, "Maybe I don't want to be strong for them, maybe I am sick of being strong for everyone, I spend my life being strong for everyone else, and I'm sick of it" I storm out of the room.

I run upstairs and throw myself on the bed and cry myself to sleep. 


	19. Chapter 19

**Please rest assured I haven't killed baby Alex, it is not what it seems and will become clear in this chapter, please stick with it.**

CHAPTER 19

"Ana, Ana, wake up, please wake up" I am pulled into the present by Christian who is shaking me desperately.

I open my eyes, my face is soaking wet and my hair is lying limply I feel like I have run a marathon. I look up at Christian, trying to focus my mind.

"Oh thank god" he says with relief, he pulls me into his arms "What the fuck were you dreaming about Ana? You wouldn't wake up and you were in so much pain, you were screaming for someone to help you".

I struggle out of his hold and leap out of bed, I glance at the clock 6:30am I run into Alex's room, staring at the tiny bundle in his crib, he is sleeping he twitches and grizzles, I scoop him up in my arms, trembling from head to foot, sobbing uncontrollably.

I feel Christians arms around me, "Oh Christian its ok he's here he's here" I babble

Christian leads me back to our room I am still clinging to my son as if my life depends on it. Sobbing softly, Christian tries to take him from, "No!" I say pulling Alex closer.

I ease myself into bed and sit staring at my son. Christian climbs in beside me, staring at me as if I have gone mad, I feel as though I have lost my mind.

"Bad dream" I say softly, Christian pulls me closer.

"About Alex?" he asks

I nod and tears start to fall again.

"Talk to me Ana" he says softly, brushing my soaking hair from my face.

"I dreamt he died, it was horrible so real but so horrible" I sob

"Oh baby come here, he's fine look at him"

I stroke my sons head and his eyes open and he yawns and starts gurgling, Christian wants to take him from me but I am still reluctant to let him go.

Eventually I pull myself together and pass him carefully over to Christian.

Alex is fully awake now and pulling on Christians T shirt trying to pull himself upright again, Christian gently puts his hand on Alex's behind and helps his progress, marvelling at his son's strength.

"Will you just look at that" he says with pride in his voice.

I am quiet, the dream is still going round my head, and I still can't quite believe I am now awake and everything is alright. I walk to the window and look outside, its cold but there is no snow, just odd flurries coming down like how it was in the night.

I rest my head on the window and then I look at Christian and leave the room, grabbing my robe as I walk out the door. I pull on my robe and make my way downstairs, Carrick is fast asleep in the chair and Elliot is still comatose sprawled across the sofa. My mind wanders back to my dream, how I had shoved Christian aside, and decked Elliot, I start to giggle, I leave the room not wanting to wake the two sleeping men, and return upstairs, I look in on Ted, Phoebe and Izzy, they hadn't featured in my dream and I wonder why, I watch them all sleeping peacefully and return to the bedroom, now satisfied I am awake and this is reality.

Christian is still playing with Alex and I crawl into bed beside him, I rest my head on his shoulder and start to talk, I describe the dream I had and how real it was and the pain I felt and how it left me wondering whether or not I was in reality now. Christian listens and doesn't say a word until I have finished.

He gently puts Alex down and embraces me, "It was just a dream sweetheart it's not real" My mind is travelling back in time to the last nightmare I used to have, the one of Christian turning and walking away from me. I shiver, that came true once the night I told him I was pregnant, he over reacted and walked out. I try to concentrate on the positive that he came back and we are stronger than ever and have been for years.  
I can't take my eyes off Alex; it does as if I stop looking at him my dream will come true. I look at the clock beside the bed, it's now 7am and as I look back the bedroom door opens and Isobel walks in rubbing her eyes, she clambers on to the bed and shuffles between me and Christian.

"What do you think you are doing young lady" Christian says looking down at her and smiling indulgently. Isobel giggles and stares at Alex who is trying to climb on her. I pull him towards me and disappear to change him and wash and dress him.

We are all sitting around the breakfast table, Gail is serving up toast, omelettes and pancakes, I look around the table, Grace is drinking coffee and making conversation with my mother, Bob and my father are talking football Christian is chatting with Jose and Ethan about fishing, Kate and the girls are still asleep and nobody has wanted to wake them, Carrick comes in looking stiff and pretty rough, he smiles at Gail when she hands him some coffee.

I stand and leave the room Christian watches me go. I walk into the lounge and sit staring at Elliot, I remember clearly what I said to him in my dream and I am planning to say something similar when he rejoins planet earth.

I sit quietly drinking my tea; Elliot stirs and glances around unsure of where he is and what is happening. He looks terrible, realisation dawns on him where he is.

"Ana? ... How did I get here?" He croaks

"Your brother and father collected you from a club last night after a concerned citizen phoned us to tell us where you were, they thought you were ill" I snarl at him.

He sits up and rubs his eyes, and yawns "Well nobody asked them to" he retorts.

Anger floods through me I stand walk over and with all my strength slap him around the face, and then I let rip, berating him basically saying all the things I said in my dream, Carrick and Christian come running in and watch as I am in Elliot's face gesticulating wildly as he cowers on the sofa.

Christian comes over and puts his hand on my arm, "That's enough baby" he says softly I swing around and see the amusement in his eyes he's enjoying watching me tear Elliot a new one.

"I've not finished yet" I say and turn to Elliot again

"You are pathetic – do you realise your father sat with you all night in case you choked on your vomit or something, its about time you grew up and faced up to your responsibilities and stop acting like an adolescent you have three beautiful children who need a father not a fucking filthy drunken tramp" I stop and breathe out, "Now I'm done" I say and walk away. Carrick grasps my hand as I walk past him and smiles at me I walk into Kate in the hallway.

"Wow go Ana, I couldn't have put that better myself" she says smiling at me

"You heard?"

She snorts "I think the whole of Seattle heard" she says.

"I hit him" I say registering the stinging sensation in my hand for the first time.

Kate bursts out laughing, "did you really I wish I'd seen that!" she links arms with me and we head back into the kitchen. Grace looks at me as I walk in and I blush "Sorry" I mutter.

"Don't be" she says "its about time he heard a few home truths we have tried reasoning with him and hoping he would make the right decisions but he hasn't, this could be just the thing he needs".

My mom is just sitting open mouthed and speechless and my father is desperately trying to hide his amusement behind a mug of coffee, and I see the glow of pride in his eyes.

I look around the table "Happy new year everyone!" I say calmly.

As I say it Jose appears looking half asleep, "What's with the shouting?" he slurs as he staggers into the room and sits himself down, I grin at him

"Sorry did I wake you?" I say

Gail places a mug of coffee in front of him. "Don't worry about it" he says.

I wonder what's going on in the lounge, as I am thinking this Christian and Carrick walk in followed by Elliot who looks uncomfortable. He looks at Kate who stiffens and turns her head away, she rises from her seat, "Excuse me" she says and disappears Elliot watches her go, and sighs.

"Well what did you expect?" I snarl at him. I glare at him daring him to retort back at me.

He visibly shrinks into the chair, and says nothing.

"Ana" The warning in Christians tone quietens me.

The atmosphere round the table can be cut with a knife, Elliot suddenly speaks.

"I'm sorry, mom, dad, Christian, Ana" he says quietly.

My mom, Bob and Ray are watching silently the door opens and Aver and Zoë come in they stop dead when they see Elliot.  
They look at him in horror and run from the room.

He watches them go the hurt in his eyes is painful to see.

"I frightened my own children" he says sadly

"Well you do look a bit of a mess Elliot" Grace says.

My parents and Bob excuse themselves; I am watching Ethan whose self control is amazing he is sitting concentrating on his toast and studiously ignoring Elliot. Mia is stroking his arm.

Ted runs in and stares at Elliot Phoebe and Izzy follow, Izzy runs to Christian and he lifts her on to his lap. She is staring unashamedly at Elliot, "Unckie Lelliot" she says

Elliot's head rises at that word and stares at Isobel and then he stares at Christian, tears well in his eyes, he swallows "Yes Izzy" he says his voice trembling

"You smell funny" she says

I snort and try and hide it by coughing loudly, Christian covers his mouth with his hand and Carrick stands and leaves the room Elliot looks shocked and then a chuckle bubbles up and escapes him.

Just like that the atmosphere lightens.

Elliot has showered and is wearing a pair of Christian's old jeans and one of his t shirts. He looks better but he is still thin and gaunt. Izzy walks up to him and stares at him, he lifts her on to his lap, "do I smell better now?" he asks

She nods and smiles at him.

Kate has left with the children and when Elliot asks where they have gone, I take a perverse pleasure in telling him. "She is meeting Susannah for lunch so the girls can spend some time with their brother" I spit at him.

"I deserved that" he says sadly

"It's the truth" I reply

"I've been a fool" he says looking at me his eyes pleading.

I snort "That's the understatement of the century"

"I want my wife back" he says looking at me

"Well good luck with that one" I say I pause and in a softer tone I say "Listen Elliot, instead of disappearing on benders be around for your kids they don't understand what's going on and they don't deserve to be treated the way you are treating them, you have two daughters who are missing their daddy and a baby son who doesn't even know you, get yourself sorted out and try and win them back – forget Kate for the time being and Susannah for that matter – concentrate on being a good dad, what would you do if anything happened to them, and you hadn't been around?". My mind goes back to my dream, and I shiver.

He nods and smiles at me. "You know Christian is so lucky to have you, thank you Ana, and for the home truths you told me" He stands "I'm going to make a start on that now".

I watch him leave, Christian walks in and smiles at me

"I am a lucky man" he says grabbing my wrist and pulling me to him.

"You were listening?" I say looking at me the door opens and everyone walks in

"Erm we all were" Grace says apologetically.

Christian kisses my cheek "You are one hell of a woman Mrs Grey"

Gail walks in holding Alex who holds his arms out to me as soon as he lays eyes on me Ted, Izzy and Phoebe follows behind her, Christian lifts Izzy up and Ted goes to sit with Carrick and Phoebe sits between my mother and Grace.

Here's to a better year for us all Christian says looking around the room.

Here here! Carrick says

I smile at Christian "Damn Right Mr Grey!" I say and kiss him soundly on the lips

"Damn right! Izzy shouts. 


End file.
